Hard hat #1: I hate television without sex, violence and nudity.
Hard hat #2: You bet!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: loopster
Archive for May, 2010
That’s never stopped Geraldo before.
Reporter to source on the phone: I have to be honest here. I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Park Avenue South
Manhattan, New York
…Hello?…Hello??
Insurance company boss on phone: Let’s put it in a more practical sense: your mom dies…
White Plains, New York
I hear if you eat some sausage right afterwards, that feeling goes away
Student worker: Man, my mouth is really dry.
Secretary: Why?
Student worker: Because I just ate some raw nuts.
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Listening Secretary
Indeed.
Native English speaker coworker: I don’t get that… I guess I failed to miss your point.
Boise, Indiana
Overheard by: In Disbelief
Wait ‘Til She Starts Hooking Up with Boys.
Office girl #1: I took the elevator down here.
Office girl #2: Oh, I know where it goes up, but where does it go down?
Office girl #1: The same place it goes up.
Office girl #2: Oh!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Theresa Coiro
Smokey the Bear: “Only You Can Prevent Stupid Hires.”
Coworker#1: How do you spell “forrrr-est”?
Coworker#2: F‑o-r-r-e-s‑t.
Coworker#1: Really? Two r’s?
Coworker#2: Yep.
Manhattan, New York
…And What Was the Topic Of This Meeting Again?
Office peon #1: It could be worse, he could be addicted to gay porn or crack.
Office jokester: Does gay porn lead to worse addictions? Does gay porn lead to crack?
Office peon #2: Depends on what type of crack you mean.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
…Perfect!
Door repairman to another: Okay, now walk out the door like you’re walking out.
Nashville, Tennessee
I Was Wondering How to Pronounce “MVJSUN”…
Tester: Please read the top line please.
Young girl taking driving test: (mumbles first few letters together)
Tester: Please speak clearly.
Young girl: I can’t read dem words.
Tester: What words?
Young girl: On the top row.
Tester: Honey, those are not words, they are random letters.
Young girl: Oh, really?
Missouri State Highway Patrol Testing Facility
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Ben
