Hard hat #1: I hate television without sex, violence and nudity.
Hard hat #2: You bet!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: loopster
Archive for May, 2010
That's never stopped Geraldo before.
Reporter to source on the phone: I have to be honest here. I have no idea what you're talking about.
Park Avenue South
Manhattan, New York
…Hello?…Hello??
Insurance company boss on phone: Let's put it in a more practical sense: your mom dies…
White Plains, New York
I hear if you eat some sausage right afterwards, that feeling goes away
Student worker: Man, my mouth is really dry.
Secretary: Why?
Student worker: Because I just ate some raw nuts.
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Listening Secretary
Indeed.
Native English speaker coworker: I don't get that… I guess I failed to miss your point.
Boise, Indiana
Overheard by: In Disbelief
Wait 'Til She Starts Hooking Up with Boys.
Office girl #1: I took the elevator down here.
Office girl #2: Oh, I know where it goes up, but where does it go down?
Office girl #1: The same place it goes up.
Office girl #2: Oh!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Theresa Coiro
…Except the Dentistry.
Gate attendant on intercom: We'll be serving dinner on board. You don't have to pay, you just have to eat it. A lovely breakfast will be served in the morning, and then the landing will be lovely because everything in England is lovely.
JFK Airport
New York
Overheard by: ollie
Smokey the Bear: “Only You Can Prevent Stupid Hires.”
Coworker#1: How do you spell “forrrr-est”?
Coworker#2: F-o-r-r-e-s-t.
Coworker#1: Really? Two r's?
Coworker#2: Yep.
Manhattan, New York
…Which Explains Why I Was in the Bathroom All Morning.
Female intern: I hope I never deal with childbirth. I just want to lay an egg and be done with it.
Stoughton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Billy
…And What Was the Topic Of This Meeting Again?
Office peon #1: It could be worse, he could be addicted to gay porn or crack.
Office jokester: Does gay porn lead to worse addictions? Does gay porn lead to crack?
Office peon #2: Depends on what type of crack you mean.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania