Employee to intern: That’ll back me up for a month! I don’t want your chocolate.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Chocolateer
Archive for February, 2010
And Eat Them
Employee: Tom*, do you want to go to lunch?
Tom*: No! I want to kill someone!
Dublin
Ireland
…Anybody Got a Cigarette?
Office hottie, after office creepster has poked her: Ouch! What was that for?
Office creepster: I just always wondered what it’d be like to poke you.
Office hottie: Oh. It didn’t do much for me. How was it for you?
Office creepster: Fucking magic!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kiwibloke
…And the Combined Length Of Their Penises?
Male coworker: It’s small but mighty.
Female coworker #1: Hey, it’s not the size that matters!
Male coworker: You’re right, it’s the bandwidth!
(laughter)
Female coworker #2: We are still talking about the analytics department, right?
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Mandy
There Is No Healing Without Self-Acceptance
Female peon, exiting bathroom in disgust: Ugh, I hate the way my ass smells.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Pudangdang
At Least I Learned How to Make Lightbulb Nachos
Coworker: With the amount of hours I spent playing WoW, I probably could have graduated college. Oh, well.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Thanks, Sesame Street!
IT guy #1, absorbed in reading data printout: Hmmm… Aha! 12, 13, 14.
IT guy #2, passing by: Hey, you can count to 14! That’s great!
IT guy #3: And he can do it without taking his shoes off!
Toronto
Canadia
Where the Women Have Their Make-up Permanently Lasered on
Middle-aged coworker, about applying makeup to upper eyelids: I can’t do it because my eyes are all squinty.
Young Asian coworker, jokingly: Yeah, me either.
Middle-aged coworker, serious: But that’s because of where you’re from.
Male coworker, walking in: Oxnard?
Thousand Oaks, California
I’ve Heard at Night They Roam the Neighborhood, in Search Of Soup and Liniment.
Loan officer #1: Wouldn’t a 55-and-over development have lower market value because your applicant pool is so small?
Loan officer #2: No way, there’s a ton of old people.
Eastern Shore, Maryland
Q5 Is Better Known As the Empty Quarter
Client: I think we’ll need to push this to Q4 or Q5.
Seattle, Washington
