Archive for 2009

Just Need to Know If It’s Re­al­ly Gonna Hit My Eye Like a Big Piz­za Pie

Caller: I need to speak to your me­te­o­rol­o­gist now.
Pro­duc­er: Sor­ry, she’s gone to din­ner.
Caller: But I re­al­ly need to know about the moon. Will she be say­ing any­thing about the moon tonight dur­ing the news?
Pro­duc­er: What are you, a were­wolf?

News Sta­tion
Jack­son, Mis­sis­sip­pi

I Do Feel Kin­da Spe­cial When She Ap­plauds, Though.

Cowork­er #1: We have a woman jan­i­tor now. Things have been awk­ward to say the least.
Cowork­er #2: Well, you can’t dis­crim­i­nate, though. Women jan­i­tors need to work too.
Cowork­er #1: Noth­ing like hav­ing her walk in on you while you are stand­ing at the urinal…or tak­ing a poop and hear some­body walk in and then walk out. And then when you ex­it the re­stroom, she is wait­ing out­side the door with rub­ber gloves and a can of Lysol.

Fair­mont, West Vir­ginia

Shamu: *Rolls Eyes*

Ul­tra white fe­male pe­on: Yo, dat Sea World pen is the shit!
Ul­tra white male pe­on: What, thisse one?
Ul­tra white fe­male pe­on: Nah, man… The Sea World pen! It’s da bomb!
Ul­tra white male pe­on: Naw, some­body ganked mine!

Con­fer­ence Way North, Bo­ca Ra­ton FL

Over­heard by: Straight Trip­pin, Boo

She Needs to Stop Spew­ing Crap About Me

Fat, bra­less, tat­tooed, red­neck bik­er-look­ing kitchen work­er: I ough­ta sue her for defe­cat­ing my character–talking about me like that!
In­cred­u­lous co-work­er: Ummm…do you mean de­fam­ing?
Fat, bra­less, tat­tooed, red­neck bik­er-look­ing kitchen work­er: Yeah…whatever.

Tam­pa, Flori­da

Over­heard by: don­na