Archive for 2009

Thank­ful­ly the Ad­ven­ture Team Has a Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell Pol­i­cy

Sales­guy #1: I think Jane* may be the per­fect woman.
Sales­guy #2: How so?
Sales­guy #1: I was talk­ing to her about her Care Bear graph­ic on Mes­sen­ger, and she said that she played with G.I. Joes, too. “I had them at­tack the straw­ber­ry bush­es be­hind my house. That was my jun­gle.”
Sales­guy #2: Dang!
Sales­guy #1: I know! I was like, “I think I’m go­ing to have to mar­ry you. You may be the per­fect woman.” I mean, it’s hard to find a girl that played with G.I. Joes.
Sales­guy #2: No, it’s not. It’s just that most of them don’t dig dudes.

Bon­ner Springs, Kansas

But I Claimed It in the Name Of the Queen Of Spain!

Boss man: There’s a men’s bath­room and a wom­en’s bath­room. I don’t want to see any­one us­ing the wom­en’s bath­room… Use the men’s room.
Work­er: You talk­ing to me? Are you say­ing I use the wom­en’s room? I don’t! Who told you that?
Boss man: I don’t know who it is. I don’t care. Just use the men’s bath­room.
Work­er: Is it me? Cuz you’re look­ing at me.
Boss man: Fine, it’s you. Don’t use the wom­en’s bath­room.
Work­er: Who told you I was us­ing the wom­en’s bath­room? I don’t use the wom­en’s bath­room.
Boss man: I did­n’t say it was you, but if you think it was you, it was you. Don’t use the wom­ens bath­room.

Newark, New Jer­sey

You’re Fired.

Sales­man to man­ag­er: One of my cus­tomers is look­ing for prices on a lap­top.
Man­ag­er: Okay, what is he look­ing for?
Sales­man: A lap­top.
Man­ag­er: Yes, but what is he look­ing for? I can get him a piece of crap for next to noth­ing, or a re­al ex­pen­sive one. What is he look­ing for? What spec­i­fi­ca­tions and size is he look­ing for, and what ex­tras?
Sales­man: Okay, I’ll find out.
(three min­utes lat­er, af­ter phon­ing cus­tomer)
Sales­man: He is look­ing for one, the size of an adult male’s hands placed next to each oth­er.

South Africa