Archive for 2009

Thankfully the Adventure Team Has a Don't Ask/Don't Tell Policy

Salesguy #1: I think Jane* may be the perfect woman.
Salesguy #2: How so?
Salesguy #1: I was talking to her about her Care Bear graphic on Messenger, and she said that she played with G.I. Joes, too. “I had them attack the strawberry bushes behind my house. That was my jungle.”
Salesguy #2: Dang!
Salesguy #1: I know! I was like, “I think I'm going to have to marry you. You may be the perfect woman.” I mean, it's hard to find a girl that played with G.I. Joes.
Salesguy #2: No, it's not. It's just that most of them don't dig dudes.

Bonner Springs, Kansas

But I Claimed It in the Name Of the Queen Of Spain!

Boss man: There's a men's bathroom and a women's bathroom. I don't want to see anyone using the women's bathroom… Use the men's room.
Worker: You talking to me? Are you saying I use the women's room? I don't! Who told you that?
Boss man: I don't know who it is. I don't care. Just use the men's bathroom.
Worker: Is it me? Cuz you're looking at me.
Boss man: Fine, it's you. Don't use the women's bathroom.
Worker: Who told you I was using the women's bathroom? I don't use the women's bathroom.
Boss man: I didn't say it was you, but if you think it was you, it was you. Don't use the womens bathroom.

Newark, New Jersey

You're Fired.

Salesman to manager: One of my customers is looking for prices on a laptop.
Manager: Okay, what is he looking for?
Salesman: A laptop.
Manager: Yes, but what is he looking for? I can get him a piece of crap for next to nothing, or a real expensive one. What is he looking for? What specifications and size is he looking for, and what extras?
Salesman: Okay, I'll find out.
(three minutes later, after phoning customer)
Salesman: He is looking for one, the size of an adult male's hands placed next to each other.

South Africa