Boss: Sue, I need you.
Sure: Aw, boss, I need you too.
Alpharetta, Georgia
Archive for 2009
One More Step and I’ll Blast You Full Of Citrus!
Chipper CSA: I’m showing you completely surrounded by the orange!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: They’ll Never Take Me Alive!
Abort Conversation! Abort Conversation!
Male employee #1: I am going out on a date tonight with a 4′11″ Filipina. She runs triathlons.
Male employee #2: That’s short. You know, her head will be at about your stomach.
Male employee #1, after long pause: I kind of want her to break me.
Sacramento, California
…Or “Human”
Technology director: No, that’s “u,” as in “eunuch.”
Columbia, South Carolina
That Exposed-Nutsack Episode Of Friends?
20-something Italian male, loudly: Why do you think I never wear shorts?
Groton, Connecticut
Better Stand Back
CEO: How big is yours?
Manager: I don’t know, I’ll have to check.
Freehold, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rob
I Hear Liberty Was a Total Crackhead
Coworker, ending discussion on Philadelphia’s history: So the Liberty Bell was the bell people rang… when liberty came?
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
…Why’s Everyone Giggling at Us?
Oblivious programmer #1, discussing lunch: It’s good… It’s very, very soft.
Oblivious programmer #2: It’s all about everything. It’s about the sauce.
Oblivious programmer #1: It’s my first time. It could be the last time.
Westwood, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I love work
The Two Types Of Weekend in Texas
Office goon #1: Girl, you were so drunk on Saturday night!
Office goon #2: No! I wasn’t drunk…I was drugged!
Austin, Texas
A Man’s Gotta Eat
Boastful rare coin dealer: Oh, yeah, I sold a piece yesterday–$7,700.
Impressionable cashier girl: Wow… wow!
Boastful rare coin dealer: Day before that, sold a coin for four grand.
Impressionable cashier girl: That’s unbelievable. Oh… debit or credit?
Boastful rare coin dealer: Food stamps.
Levittown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Flynn
