Archive for 2009

…You’re Fired.

20-some­thing blonde: It sure is cold out here to­day. I heard it will be one of the cold­est days in the last 30 years.
Ar­gu­men­ta­tive VP: No, it does­n’t seem too cold to­day. I can usu­al­ly tell when it’s very cold be­cause my glass­es fog up.
20-some­thing blonde: Ummmmmm…you’re not wear­ing glass­es.
Ar­gu­men­ta­tive VP: Oh…that’s a good point.

Beach­wood, Ohio

Over­heard by: The Cleve­land Kid

There’s No Prob­lem You Can’t Dec­o­rate Your Way Out Of

Man­ag­er: Are you go­ing to throw out those Christ­mas dec­o­ra­tions?
Em­ploy­ee: Yes.
Man­ag­er: No, we should give those away. Give them to them to the home­less.
Em­ploy­ee: But…(pause) They’re home­less!
Man­ag­er: Yeah, but haven’t you seen those that live un­der the bridge? They could dec­o­rate!
(room goes silent)

Brownsville, Texas

Fur­ther Proof That Acrylic Nails Are Bad for You

Sa­lon re­cep­tion­ist: How can I help you?
Girl: I would like to sched­ule an ap­point­ment for acrylic nails.
Sa­lon re­cep­tion­ist: Okay, can I get your first and last name?
Girl: Sure, it’s Lind­say… (long pause) …I for­got the sec­ond ques­tion.

San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Re­al­ly…?!