Archive for 2009

No Wonder He Enjoys Licking Me

Girl employee #1: Yeah, so I went to visit my boyfriend in jail last night and they had to drug test me to make sure I wasn't smuggling anything for him or whatever, and so they swabbed my arms, and it came back positive for heroin!
Girl employee #2: Oh, weird!
Girl employee #1: I know! I don't even know what heroin looks like!

Vancouver
British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: very concerned

…It Was Only the One.

Pregnant employee at coworker's baby shower: Oh, an anti-roll pillow! Thank you!
Male employee: What's it for?
Pregnant employee: To keep the baby from rolling onto his stomach and possibly suffocating in the crib.
Chatty woman: My two babies died from sleeping on their stomachs.
(stunned silence)
Chatty woman: Just kidding! (laughs)

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: office monkey extraordinaire

I Keep Mine in a Jar in the Office Fridge

Coworker #1: I don't get paying money to play WoW. You're essentially paying for the satisfaction of clicking a button.
Coworker #2: Exactly, that's why I use that money for porn.
Coworker #1: True, at least when you're done with porn you have something to show for it.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Rick

Connecting Across the Room Is Close Enough

Work study employee: So then this guy looks at me, and starts talking about tantra and leering at me, right?
Coworker: What in the hell is tantra?
Work study employee: (explains briefly)
Coworker: God, so it's not even kinky, it's just damn boring. Who the hell wants to connect on a deeper level? Shit.

Eastern Washington University
Cheney, Washington