Archive for 2009

I've Taken to Mailing Sperm to Strangers

Engineer #1: How's the baby?
Engineer #2: Great!
Engineer #1: I'm thinking of having one soon!
Engineer #2: Really? You're married?
Engineer #1: No, working on it.
Engineer #2: Oh, wow! You got engaged…congratulations!
Engineer #1: No, not yet.
Engineer #2: Do you even have a girlfriend?
Engineer #1: Working on it. It's hard to recruit women to come here…

New York

Overheard by: How?

You Get My Thrust?

CEO at all-employee meeting: We want this company to get to the top. Because I don't know about you, but I have fun when I'm on top. (employees roar with laughter)

Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Just wanted the stock quote

It's Almost Like They Have No Compassion, Y'know?

Clerk #1: They said there was problems on the 4 and 5–what does that have to do with the 3? Where did the 3 go?
Clerk #2: They said someone threw themselves on the tracks.
Clerk #3: Did what?
Clerk #2: Threw themselves in front of the train–someone wanted to commit hara-kiri.
Clerk #3: Why they got to do that at this time of day? Why does everyone want to kill themselves during rush hour, but nobody wants to do it in the middle of the night, so we can all get to work?

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Innocent Bystander