Archive for 2009

I’ve Tak­en to Mail­ing Sperm to Strangers

En­gi­neer #1: How’s the ba­by?
En­gi­neer #2: Great!
En­gi­neer #1: I’m think­ing of hav­ing one soon!
En­gi­neer #2: Re­al­ly? You’re mar­ried?
En­gi­neer #1: No, work­ing on it.
En­gi­neer #2: Oh, wow! You got engaged…congratulations!
En­gi­neer #1: No, not yet.
En­gi­neer #2: Do you even have a girl­friend?
En­gi­neer #1: Work­ing on it. It’s hard to re­cruit women to come here…

New York

Over­heard by: How?

You Get My Thrust?

CEO at all-em­ploy­ee meet­ing: We want this com­pa­ny to get to the top. Be­cause I don’t know about you, but I have fun when I’m on top. (em­ploy­ees roar with laugh­ter)

Rockville, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Just want­ed the stock quote

It’s Al­most Like They Have No Com­pas­sion, Y’­know?

Clerk #1: They said there was prob­lems on the 4 and 5–what does that have to do with the 3? Where did the 3 go?
Clerk #2: They said some­one threw them­selves on the tracks.
Clerk #3: Did what?
Clerk #2: Threw them­selves in front of the train–someone want­ed to com­mit hara-kiri.
Clerk #3: Why they got to do that at this time of day? Why does every­one want to kill them­selves dur­ing rush hour, but no­body wants to do it in the mid­dle of the night, so we can all get to work?

New York City, New York

Over­heard by: In­no­cent By­stander