Bimbette #1: It happened again last night.
Bimbette #2: You gagged?
Bimbette #1: Yeah. I even practiced with a tongue depressor first!
Bimbette #2: That sucks.
Coatesville, Pennsylvania
Archive for 2009
And It Plays Music!
Male gay CSR to female straight CSR: The underwear I'm wearing right now is so cute I wish I could show it to you!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Leigh
Nobody Talks About the Pentagon's “O” Ring
IT engineer, about large file to upload: It was big, that's why it took so long to get it up.
IT desktop deck: Hahahaha.
IT manager: I'll leave you two alone.
The Pentagon
Arlington, Virginia
Wanna Be My Muscle?
Manager: Sarah*, why do you have all of those little baggies at your desk?
Sarah: Because you never know when someone will need one, or when we have those potlucks and people want to take things home, or try someone else's dish, or take it home to their kids…
Manager: Sarah, are you sure you're not dealing?
Sarah: Well, maybe I should…I do have a scale at my desk…
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: I'll buy some
We Weren't Allowed Anything Sharp
Tech looking for stylus: Have you seen my pokey thing?
Boss: Not even in prison did I see the pokey thing.
Midwest
By Watching Porn All Day at Work
Coworker, arguing against gun regulations: They say that easy access to guns leads to mass killings. Well, there's easy access to prostitutes but I don't have syphilis. I restrain myself.
Nashville, Tennessee
We Prefer Weaponry to Punctuation
Boss on phone with tech support: Wait… What is a colon? (pause) The dot and the squiggle line or the dot and the dot? (pause) Hello? Are you listening to me? (pause) No, I'm not stupid, I'm German.
Ocala, Florida
Overheard by: Mystique
Regarding Our Perennial Problems Of Friction, Lubrication and Wear
Young engineer #1: Hey, dude, how are you?
Young engineer #2: Oh, man, Johnson is killing me today!
Greenville, Texas
Seriously, Dude. Stop.
Production manager, loudly, to graphic artist nearby: Michael! You are just whipping it out today!
Van Nuys, California
Overheard by: Just walking on by
Um, All I Said Was “Hello”
Loud secretary on phone: Ohhh, you said “Laurie.” I thought you said “Willie Nelson.”
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: jim from the office