Coworker on phone: If you ever do that again, I’m gonna spank your ass.
Calgary
Canadia
Coworker on phone: If you ever do that again, I’m gonna spank your ass.
Calgary
Canadia
Straight coworker over cubicle wall: Dude, she’s super hot. (pause) In a manly way.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: walkingby
Employee to another: We’ve got to take down this Palin display. It’s upsetting the customers.
Bookstore
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: erica
Boss to another: I have a policy manual on when to take a dump each day.
Chicago, Illinois
Male cook: Fine, we’ll spell it your way!
Female front desk agent: No, seriously! “Banana” is spelled b‑a-n-a-n‑a.
(later that day)
Female front desk agent to male front desk agent: Hey, how do you spell “banana”?
Male front desk agent: B‑a-b…
Female front desk agent, cutting him off: Forget it.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: David
Office girl to colleague: Is it in the toilet?
Ft. Worth, Texas
Overheard by: NICK BUDROS
Peon #1: Stella*, Jack* wants to know if you can come into his office.
Stella*: Sure.
Peon #2: Dun… Dun… Dun…
Peon #3: Just don’t close the door.
Peon #1: And don’t close your eyes.
Peon #2: And don’t put anything in your mouth.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: extremely good advice
Trainee accountant #1, looking at payslip: Look, I pay more tax each month!
Trainee accountant #2: Where does it say that?
Trainee accountant #1: Here, look.
Trainee accountant #2: That is the cumulative total.
Trainee accountant #1: What does “cumulative” mean?
London
England
Secretary: I’m going out, does anyone want anything from Fordham road?
Coworker: Are you going past a liquor store?
Fordham University
The Bronx, New York
Big woman in corridor to friends: Oh, I can handle eight inches! I bet I can handle eight inches no problem!
Edison, New Jersey
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist