Cube dweller #1: Know what I was thinking?
Cube dweller #2, watching hottie walking by: Soft luscious hooters and long muscular legs?
Cube dweller #1: Umm… No. (turns to watch hottie) I should have been, but it was something else.
Woodland Hills, California
Overheard by: Gunboat
Trainee: This customer is mad because we won’t cover an accident that happened before he was insured with us. He won’t stop yelling!
Trainer: Ha! He’s gonna have to suck eggs on that one! Sucks for him. But seriously, go through the facts and dates with him and explain why we won’t cover it. Stay calm and apologize. You can do this!
Trainee, to customer: Thank you for holding. This… uh… Okay. My manager says you have to suck eggs, I’m sorry.
Riverview Parkway, San Diego
Office gal: No, that goes in vertically.
Office guy: Vertically? Where? Here?
Office gal: No, in the little hole.
Office guy: What? No way!
Office gal: Yeah, you gotta fanagle it a little bit to get the gap to open up, so you can stick it in there.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: That’s what she said?…
Leader: Oh, she’s turned on!
Office drone: I thought we turned her off.
Leader: We did turn her off. I turned her on yesterday, but then I turned her off.
Office drone: Then why is she turned on?
Leader: I don’t know why she’s turned on!
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: kinda turned on
Colleague on phone: He sits in his office reading the paper, and then he wanders out, shits on everybody, eats their French fries, and leaves.
London
Canadia
Groundskeeper to ops guy: Nothing happened. He just took his pants off!
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: I Don’t Wanna Know.…
Tech guy #1: You don’t see a problem using a URL shortener to shorten a URL that is shorter than the shortened URL?
Tech guy #2: No!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: really short URL
Make-up artist: I heard you broke your wiener.
Male performer: Damn it, who told you? You’re the eighth person to ask me that this morning.
Make-up artist: Oh, Mike* told me.
Male performer: That guy!
Make-up artist: He’s the wiener whisperer.
Adult Film Company
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: fetishgirl
Male coworker to female supervisor: Sorry about your son.
Female supervisor: He’s a wimp!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Neighbor with headphones on
Secretary #1: I’m going to Atlanta this weekend.
Secretary #2: Cool! The city or the island?
New York Presbyterian Hospital
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Vespertine
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
