Customer: I would like to buy this box of condoms, but I want to know if I can return them if they don’t work.
Cashier: What do you mean “if they don’t work?“
Customer: You know! If I get pregnant!
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: OhMyGodBecky
Archive for August, 2009
All This Time I Thought Wearing Green Was a Style Choice
Female worker #1: As a smoker these days I really feel like a social leprechaun.
Female worker #2: You mean “leper”?
Female worker #1: What?
Canberra
Australia
So The Da Vinci Code Changed My Life!
Woman to group of friends: I just can’t get over how my son and daughter have the same initials.
Appleton, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Count Chocula
…And Does Hair.
Office drone #1 at copier: I want a sandwich.
Office drone #2 at copier: It only prints and copies.
Hawthorne, New York
It Was All, “Where My Crackers At?”
Office admin #1: The party really didn’t begin until the cheese showed up.
Office admin #2: I agree.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: New Here
…Cute Thong, Though.
Male security guard: Well, everything has been taken care of and everyone has been notified of the problem.
Female security guard: So our asses are covered?
Male security guard: Yes, our asses are covered.
Female security guard: But what about everyone else’s asses?
Male security guard: Not a work conversation anymore.
Atlanta, Georgia
…Thus Taking Silver in the Office Olympics.
Engineering manager: He just knocked a ChapStick out of my ear with a grape!
Central Florida
Overheard by: Arfnotz
…and a Novelty Necktie
Young receptionist: So what are you wearing to the party?
Older male boss: Depends.
El Dorado Hills, California
The Ones the Lord Warned Us About?
HR manager to teammate: Come and smell my apples.
Burnaby
British Columbia
Canadia
Let’s Avoid the Page on Sperm Whales
Five-year-old girl, reading book about whales: Hey mom, does a baby whale really come out of a mama whale’s butt?
Mom: Hmmm…
Hygienist: Oh my god, did anyone else hear that?
Dentist Office
Augusta, Georgia
