Janitor to another, from inside men's restroom: What you need to do is get down in there and scrub. Scrub-a-dub-dub. Like the men in the tub. Scrub. A dub. Dub.
5th Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: EmLo
Archive for February, 2009
If It's Inconvenient for the Handicapped, It's My Kinda Product
Peon #1: So, I finally got my new car–it's a Scion.
Peon #2: Oh yeah, dude, you like?
Peon #1: Yeah, it's sweet. It's a standard.
Peon #2: Why?
Peon #1: Well, my brother only has one arm, so this way he can't borrow my car.
West Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Like an Oyster Full Of Sweet Unconsciousness
Office lady #1: At the bar my sister works at, they put jello shots in a syringe so you can just squeeze it back.
Office lady #2: Oh no, I like to feel it all over.
Pearl Street
Austin, Texas
When Americans Think, the Terrorists Win.
Boss to another, on phone: I'm telling you, if we start letting them think for themselves, we're screwed!
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Apparently Screwed
Oh, We've Got Trouble. Right Here in Grove City
Plumber to receptionist: I'm here to fix the urinal.
Female receptionist: Is that in the women's restroom or the men's?
Grove City, Ohio
Overheard by: Real Chicks Stand up to Pee
It's Like You've Never Seen a Pencil Before, Myrtle.
New girl: No, I want you to feel it because it's stiff.
Yaphank, New York
Son Of a Glitch!
Beautiful supervisor on phone: How did that project I gave you go?
Tech support specialist: Well, I ran into a couple of…snatches.
Beautiful supervisor: Okay, well, I will come help you out.
Tech support specialist, hanging up phone: I meant to say “glitches,” I meant to say “glitches”!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Tech Anthony
When Normally We Schedule Him for Wednesdays
Older partner to receptionist: See you later, we're going to meet this banker.
Middle-aged partner, to older partner as they walk out the door: What? Oh, “banker.” I thought you said “the spanker.”
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Jen
Based on My Own Painful Professional Experience
Accountant on phone: And what does he want inserted there? And all the way down to the end? I don't think it will fit.
New York City, New York
With a Minor in Hooking
Female coworker: Can you lend me a screwdriver so I can put this hook on the door?
IT dude: Do you know what you're doing with that?
Female coworker: Are you kidding? I've got a degree in screwing!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Steph