Archive for 2008

What? Glen Calls Them Hot All the Time.

Cowork­er #1, drink­ing with group: I’ve got two kids, a daugh­ter and a son.
Cowork­er #2: Oh, yeah? I did­n’t know that. Does Bet­ty* have any kids?
Cowork­er #3: No. Glen* has kids, though.
Cowork­er #1: Who?
Cowork­er #3: You know, Glen — over there at the ta­ble across the room. He has two daugh­ters. They came to the of­fice a cou­ple times. One’s about 12, and the oth­er’s 15 or some­thing like that.
Top ex­ec­u­tive: Yeah, and they’re pret­ty hot, too! [All three cowork­ers silent.] Uh­hh… Healthy, I mean. Good kids.

Spir­it of Seat­tle Ar­gosy Cruise Fer­ry, Lake Union
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Why Can’t I Be Deaf?

Dude, Facts Aren’t Sub­ject to Con­sen­sus

Em­ploy­ee #1, giv­ing pre­sen­ta­tion: You can’t get HIV from urine. Urine is ac­tu­al­ly ster­ile.
Em­ploy­ee #2: Blood is ster­ile!
Em­ploy­ee #1: Um­mm, I’m pret­ty sure it’s not.
Em­ploy­ee #2: No, blood is ster­ile.
Em­ploy­ee #3: How can blood be ster­ile? What about he­pati­tis?
Em­ploy­ee #2: Well, I mean, it’s ster­ile to you when it’s in­side of you.
Em­ploy­ee #1: Okay, every­body, blood is ster­ile… un­less it’s full of HIV.

Ran­cho Cor­do­va, Cal­i­for­nia

Some­one’s Got­ta Give Him the Full Lube Ser­vice

Nurse: We need you to be here for the du­ra­tion of your broth­er’s pro­ce­dure. He should be done in 15 min­utes or so.
20-some­thing me­chan­ic: Do I need to be here? [Points at floor.] Or here? [Points at room.] Be­cause that is one flash­light I don’t wan­na hold!

Proc­tol­o­gist’s of­fice
Phoenix, Ari­zona

Over­heard by: but he’s tak­en a shine to you!

Why We’re All Un­hap­py With Our ISPs: Ex­plained

Cowork­er #1: Yo! Can you send me that link again?
Cowork­er #2: Which one?
Cowork­er #1: You know, that one you sent me. With the ar­ti­cle about the guy from My Chem­i­cal Ro­mance.
Cowork­er #2: You mean Wikipedia?
Cowork­er #1: Yeah. I won­der what else is on there.

In­ter­net ser­vice provider, 110 Symonds Street
Auck­land
New Zealand