Archive for 2008

From My Big Book of Rainy Day Activities

Middle-aged project manager: Remember markers?!
Middle-aged web guy: I loved sniffing markers!
Middle-aged project manager: Airplane glue! We had to take my neighbor to the hospital because she got the lid stuck inside her nose from sniffing too hard.
Middle-aged web guy: Haha! I bet that was hard to explain to her parents!
Middle-aged project manager, dreamily: I just sniff paint…

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Unsurprised Temp

Gotta Love the Chain of Command

Customer (on speaker): But it's too expensive, it isn't fair! I can't afford it. Can't I just pay you half?
Insurance rep: No, the premium for your vehicle is $435.60. You have to pay the full amount.
Customer: Can you find a way so I can just pay $200? That's all I can afford!
Insurance rep: No. You can't just pay any amount you want. You need to pay what you owe.
(this goes on for 10 minutes)
Insurance rep: Well, fine, if you can't afford to pay the insurance for your car maybe you should sell it and take the damn bus.
Customer: What? What did you just say to me?
Insurance rep: I'll transfer you to my manager.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

You Know the Office Is Full of Closet Heteros

Designer: Hey, nice shirt!
Principal #1: Yeah, this is my gay shirt.
Principal #2: Oh my god, you can't say that! What are you doing?!
Principal #1: What? Multiple people have told me I look gay in this shirt.
Principal #2: But you can't say that kind of thing!
Principal #1: Oh, I have nothing against gay people; it's just a fact.
Principal #2: Okay, just stop talking.

Architecture Firm
Los Angeles, California

At Least That Explains the Saddle

Female employee #1: Where does it say in my job description that I'm the aquarium maintenance person, the chocolate jockey, the expert on suicide?
Female employee #2: Yeah, but you asked for that one!
Female employee #1: Which one? The chocolate jockey?
Female employee #2: Yeah.
Female employee #3: Yee-haw! I'm riding my chocolate pony!

Winston-Salem, North Carolina

If You're Serious About One-upmanship, You Need to Do Your Homework

Cube dweller #1: My cousin was in the hospital last week.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah? My brother was in the hospital last week. He had an operation to remove…ummm, something.
Cube dweller #1: What, his tonsils?
Cube dweller #2: No, it started with “p.”
Cube dweller #1: Oh, gawd, not his prostate?
Cube dweller #2: No… Oh, yeah. It was his pendix.

Tampa, Florida