Boss: So, this is the problem: the minute you see Stephanie, she just screams “fake boobs.”
New York City, New York
Boss: So, this is the problem: the minute you see Stephanie, she just screams “fake boobs.”
New York City, New York
Visiting client, waiting for elevator: You’re right. Putting shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle *is* more economical.
(jittery laughter)
Manager: It just makes sense, you know? Why have two when you can have just one?
Coworker, after client and manager get in elevator: That was the worst example of small talk I have ever heard.
Chicago, Illinois
(crunching water bottle noise)
Girl admin, in sassy tone: Hey! Those are the breast cancer water bottles–show some respect!
IT guy: Yeah–that’s why I’m…
Girl admin: Squishing it?!
IT guy: You said it! Not me!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: That’s what she said
Department manager to two employees in their 9th month of pregnancies: I simply cannot allow you two to take maternity leave at the same time.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lynn
Employee: So, how was your night?
Boss: I played catcher last night, so now my butt’s killing me!
Employee: Um, you’re talking about the softball game, right?
Denver, Colorado
Executive officer: I need a teabag, a teabag…my kingdom for a teabag.
San Diego, California
Employee, returning after a month away: Hey, you’ve lost weight!
Manager: Thanks! I’ve been…
Employee: No, wait, you just got your hair cut. Nevermind.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indianapolis
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Old bald lawyer to younger lawyer: I’m waiting for John Smith*, this son of a bitch who…
Third lawyer, strolling up, extending hand: Hi! Pleased to meet you! I’m that son of a bitch!
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Woman: Hi, where can I find books on specific countries?
Librarian: Well, which country are you looking for?
Woman: Kansas.
Newton Free Library
Newton, Massachusetts
Woman at office party: She’s got that psychological syndrome where she uses sex to get what she wants from men… What do they call that again?
Man: A whore.
Dario’s Restaurant
Rockville Centre, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist