Archive for 2008

…Shit– I Broke an Acrylic Nail.

Em­ploy­ee #1, look­ing at t‑shirt de­signed by Daisy Fuentes with a span­ish word print­ed on it: God, when did Daisy Fuentes be­come Span­ish?
Em­ploy­ee #2: Has­n’t she al­ways been Span­ish?
Em­ploy­ee #1: No! She thinks she’s so cool she can just de­cide to be Span­ish one day.
Em­ploy­ee #2: But her last name sounds Span­ish.
Em­ploy­ee #1, pro­nounc­ing it wrong: Fuentes? What­ev­er, that is­n’t Span­ish. She’s so fake. God, I hate peo­ple that are fake.

Kohl’s De­part­ment Store

Over­heard by: Ex­pect Great Things

Bob Was Nev­er Heard from Again

Of­fice gal: So last night I learned that hu­man skin is es­sen­tial­ly an evo­lu­tion­ary trait that al­lowed us to run!
Of­fice guy: Okay…
Of­fice gal: Cause it has more sweat glands and less fur, which meant we did­n’t over­heat when chas­ing down prey…
Of­fice guy: Great. (turns to leave)
Of­fice gal: Hey, where are you go­ing?
Of­fice guy: To the bath­room.
Of­fice gal: Okay, but come back be­cause I have more things to tell you about sweat!

Min­neapo­lis, Min­neso­ta

The Rain­bow-Flag Pon­cho Was Al­so a Tip-Off

Male cowork­er to fe­male cowork­er: I like your shirt.
Fe­male cowork­er: Thanks. It’s new.
Male cowork­er: The ruch­ing makes your boobs look re­al­ly perky.
(awk­ward pause)
Male cowork­er: I guess now would be a good time to tell you I’m gay.
Fe­male work­er: Yeah, you had me at “ruch­ing”

Kansas City, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: It’s pret­ty ob­vi­ous