Archive for 2008

That’s “Mr. Bag” to You

Em­ploy­ee #1, 45 min­utes af­ter asked to per­form sim­ple task: Here are those doc­u­ments you want­ed. All the copies are un­der­neath the one that’s on top of it.
Em­ploy­ee #2: Lis­ten, shit­bag — I was ac­tu­al­ly hop­ing to go to lunch to­day, so spare me the re­tard ex­pla­na­tions, please! [To an­oth­er em­ploy­ee] Do we have an ODP em­ploy­ee sec­tion we could put her in?
Em­ploy­ee #3: Nah. We’re still just us­ing that dump­ster out front.

132 Boyl­ston Street
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Why Do I Al­ways Get the Callers with the Tough Ques­tions?

Caller on speak­er­phone: Is so-and-so in?
Of­fice girl: No, he’s out for the week.
Caller on speak­er­phone: Okay, well, I had you trans­fer me to what’s-his-name be­fore. Is he in?
Of­fice girl: No, I think he’s gone for the day.
Caller on speak­er­phone: Do you even work there, or are you just an an­swer­ing ser­vice?
Of­fice girl: Um­mm…

Wis­con­sin Av­enue NW
Wash­ing­ton, DC