Archive for 2008

And This Time I Won’t Do It Out of Cru­el­ty

Guy #1: I would do any­thing for a mil­lion dol­lars.
Guy #2: What about eat your arm?
Guy #1: I would eat any body part. It would grow back.
Girl: No! It won’t!
Guy #1: It might.
Girl: Great! I’ll go down to the mis­sions down­town and tell the Viet­nam vet­er­ans that they’re go­ing to be walk­ing soon.

Wyoming, Michi­gan

Some­times You Have to Se­date the Boss and Use Your Own Judg­ment

Su­per­vi­sor to pe­on: Do you know how to get rid of tracked changes on a doc­u­ment?
Pe­on: Yes, do you want to ac­cept the changes, or re­ject them?
Su­per­vi­sor: No, I want them gone.
Pe­on: Yes, but do you want them to be in­cor­po­rat­ed in­to the doc­u­ment, or do you want to re­ject them.
Su­per­vi­sor: They can’t be there! I have to send this doc­u­ment out! No tracked changes!

Ot­tawa, On­tario

Over­heard by: Al­li­son

Be­cause They Will Eat Those Ex­tra Toes for Him

An­noy­ing cu­bette: So I say to him: “Look at Lucy*‘s toes. Now look at John*‘s toes.” And he’s like: “What?” And then he looks and sees he’s got sev­en of them and he’s like: “Wah­h­hh!“
Sane cu­bette: How many cats do you have?

Mor­ris Plains, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: in­tern in the next cube