Archive for 2008

We Barely Do That Now

Cubicle #1: Since I have to travel through Virginia next week, I’m going to take Amy*’s suggestion and get a mega millions ticket. The powerball isn’t working out so well for me.
Cubicle #2: My husband laughs at me because I want to keep working if I win the lottery.
Cubicle #3: What!?
Cubicle #2: Yeah, I want to keep working.
Cubicle #3: Well…
Cubicle #1 & #3, in unison: I wouldn’t work here.

England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Psych! Did You Just Mess Yourself?

Accountant: A Charlie Brown Christmas was on the other day and me and my sister were watching it when Peppermint Patty opened her mouth and a man’s voice popped out. I turned to my sister and said: “Oh my god! Peppermint Patty’s a big ol’ dyke! Turn that damn thing off!”
Secretary: I was raised by a lesbian couple.
Accountant: Oh… Oh, I’m sorry.

Sixth Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee

That’s a Sobriety Test in and of Itself

Lab tech: He needs to retake the drug screening.
Nurse: Why? He said he was ready to give a urine sample.
Lab tech: Well… How do I put this delicately? He did give us *a* sample… Just not the kind we needed.
Nurse: Wait, you mean… he… Oh my god! How the hell did he poop in that cup? I am impressed!
Lab tech: Yea, I kinda am to.

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Workin’ here for the insurance