Archive for 2008

I Need to Know Whether Ask­ing Mur­phy* Out Will Re­quire Tap­ping My Foot in a Bath­room Stall

Man: Is Mur­phy* a man? Or a woman?
Woman: Does it mat­ter?
Man: Um yeah. I was go­ing to ask Ter­ry out, and the shape of his? Her? Gen­i­tals rather mat­ters to me.
Woman: Big­ot.

Church in Vic­to­ria
British Co­lum­bia
Cana­dia

The Gift Store Did Have De­sign­er Hand Grenades, Though

Cowork­er #1: Yeah, I went to Egypt but I did­n’t re­al­ly like it that much be­cause it was so com­mer­cial­ized.
Cowork­er #2: I felt the same way about Is­rael… It was like there were just too many gift shops.
Ex-army cowork­er: I went to Iraq. It was­n’t com­mer­cial­ized at all.

Schaum­burg, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Emi­ly

Cas­sius Clay! You’ve Got a Point!

Clue­less bible-thumper chick: Every­one should have to see “Pas­sion of the Christ” so they would­n’t take our Lord’s name in vain any­more. And do you no­tice how it’s on­ly God’s name that they use? You nev­er hear any­one say­ing “Oh, Muham­mad Ali this, or Muham­mad Ali that”.

San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Poor Je­bus