Archive for 2008

Like the One Your Par­ents Should Have Used

Woman: Hand me one of those mag­a­zines.
Man: Gourmet?
Woman: No.
Man: Newsweek?
Woman: No.
Man: Time?
Woman: No. [Looks at kids’ ta­ble.] What about that ta­ble over there?
Man: Well, there’s High­lights
Woman: Okay, grab those. [Be­gins work­ing on puz­zles.] What’s hol­low — a lute, a sponge, or a jar?
Man: Lute.
Woman: No, sponge.
Man: You can’t see through a sponge.
Teen near­by: Can’t see through a wall, ei­ther, and it’s hol­low.
Man: True. Got a point there. Must be a sponge.
Woman: Okay, it’s a sponge.

Wait­ing area, Foren­sic and Men­tal Health Ser­vices
Hamil­ton, Ohio

Over­heard by: Kim

He Just Does­n’t Un­der­stand

Em­ploy­ee #1: I can’t be­lieve I spent four hours work­ing on my lawn over the week­end!
Em­ploy­ee #2: Yeah, it seems like most peo­ple don’t un­der­stand that a beau­ti­ful lawn does­n’t grow on trees.
Em­ploy­ee #1: [Stares silently.]Employee #2: It does­n’t, y’­know.

Wilm­ing­ton, Delaware

Over­heard by: Bryan

Aw, Just Kid­ding! It’s for the Home­com­ing Dance! Go Rams!

Di­rec­tor: I’d like to an­nounce that Al­bert*, our in­tern for the sum­mer, is leav­ing to go back to school. His last day will be Fri­day. We are go­ing to miss you here! [Team claps.]Intern: Um, ac­tu­al­ly, I’ve de­cid­ed not to go back to school. I’m mov­ing to Is­rael.
Man­ag­er: Why are you mov­ing to Is­rael? It’s not ex­act­ly a safe place to be right now.
In­tern: I feel that I need to go and sup­port my peo­ple.
Man­ag­er: But you’re not Jew­ish. You’re Russ­ian.
In­tern: Yes, I am Russ­ian, and I am al­so Jew­ish. That’s what this yarmulke is for [points to head.]

11th Street and Nicol­let Mall
Min­neapo­lis, Min­neso­ta

Over­heard by: i can’t be­lieve i work here