Archive for 2008

Well Don’t Shit Me

Crazy la­dy: Help! My food has shit all over it! Help!
Young wait­ress: Wait, what?
Crazy la­dy: Don’t “what” me.
Young wait­ress: No, re­al­ly, what’s wrong with it? Is it the wrong dish?
Crazy la­dy: You did­n’t tell me it had shit in it.
Young wait­ress: To what are you re­fer­ring, pre­cise­ly?
Crazy la­dy: The shit the shit the shit! (waves hands mad­ly over dish, ges­tur­ing at her pas­ta, cov­ered in a sauce)
Young wait­ress: Wait, do you mean the sauce?
Crazy la­dy: Don’t “sauce” me!

Northville, Michi­gan

Took Us a While, Too

New air­port paging/information clerk: Pag­ing pas­sen­ger Emer­son Big­guns, pas­sen­ger Emer­son Big­guns. Please call air­port in­for­ma­tion from the near­est white cour­tesy phone.
(preg­nant pause) Fuck!

San An­to­nio, Texas

Over­heard by: YG­B­SM