Girl yelling in conference room: I have an eager beaver.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: cube master
Archive for 2008
They’re a Godless People
Boss #1: Joe said we’ll meet about it on Monday.
Assistant: Christmas eve?
Boss #1: Well… Yeah, I guess.
(shocked silence)
Boss #2: Joe’s Canadian.
Stillwater, Oklahmoa
While I Cherish My Suburbatude
Tech: I feel sorry for people that live on farms. They just have to deal with too much ruralicity.
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Well Don’t Shit Me
Crazy lady: Help! My food has shit all over it! Help!
Young waitress: Wait, what?
Crazy lady: Don’t “what” me.
Young waitress: No, really, what’s wrong with it? Is it the wrong dish?
Crazy lady: You didn’t tell me it had shit in it.
Young waitress: To what are you referring, precisely?
Crazy lady: The shit the shit the shit! (waves hands madly over dish, gesturing at her pasta, covered in a sauce)
Young waitress: Wait, do you mean the sauce?
Crazy lady: Don’t “sauce” me!
Northville, Michigan
Like a Stalk of Celery
Salesperson calling tech support: Let me hang up so I can call back and talk to someone dumber.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
So I Mounted Its Hard Drive
Female peon to IT peon: I just found a naked computer.
New York City, New York
Took Us a While, Too
New airport paging/information clerk: Paging passenger Emerson Bigguns, passenger Emerson Bigguns. Please call airport information from the nearest white courtesy phone.
(pregnant pause) Fuck!
Airport
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: YGBSM
…Now That the Legislature’s Passed a Law Making You Wear a Dunce Cap?
New girl, during one of her constant personal calls: Don’t you find it insulting to be a Democrat?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Karen
You Have to Feel Sorry for the Dental-Dam Generation.
Cube rat to another: How does love taste?
Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: A. Pincus
…Until I Heard a Miss America Contestant Explain It
Coworker: I didn’t know there were two parts of Africa.
Bryan, Texas
