Archive for 2008

Bet­ter Than Last Year’s Price Club Fi­as­co

Din­er in ex­pen­sive restau­rant, ar­gu­ing over the bill for his fam­i­ly Christ­mas par­ty: This wine is a lot cheap­er in the gro­cery store!
Man­ag­er: And what would your in-laws think of you if you had the fam­i­ly Christ­mas par­ty in isle three of a su­per Wal-Mart?

Illinios Street
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Shat­man­du

Catholic Mar­tyr, Ac­tu­al­ly

Fe­male cowork­er #1: What did you do at the tail­gate par­ty?
Male cowork­er: I just start­ed play­ing bean­bags with some ran­dom peo­ple.
Fe­male cowork­er #2: Hey, have you ever heard of a game called Red­neck Horse­shoes? It’s sort of like bean­bags.
Male Cowork­er: No, I haven’t heard of it.
Fe­male Cowork­er #2: Oh, it must just be a Mis­souri thing.
Fe­male Cowork­er #1: That’s sounds more like a Mis­sour-ah thing.
Fe­male cowork­er #2: Missour-ah…where’s that?
Fe­male cowork­er #1: You know. Every­thing that’s not St. Louis.
Fe­male cowork­er #2: Is that a state, or a city or some­thing?

West Mon­roe Street
Chica­go, Illi­nois

Does­n’t Ex­plain Why Ju­lia Roberts Looks Like That

Cowork­er #1: Have you ever seen “The Hills Have Eyes”?
Cowork­er #2: Nah, I don’t like hor­ror movies about mu­tants.
Cowork­er #1: They’re not mu­tants. Okay, they like live in this town where the gov­ern­ment did like nu­clear test­ing and it…
Cowork­er #2: Turned them in­to mu­tants.
Cowork­er #1: Well I guess… Based on how you de­fine mu­tant.
Cowork­er #2: Some­one who is changed or ‘mu­tat­ed’ by ra­dioac­tive ma­te­r­i­al… Mu­tant.
Cowork­er #1: Yeah? well they all lived in this town where they were do­ing test­ing.
Cowork­er #3: Oh yeah. I saw that one. It gets in­to the wa­ter sup­ply and there’s like a big law­suit!
Cowork­er #2: No dude, that’s “Erin Brock­ovich“
Cowork­er #3: Oh. Yeah.

E Golf Rd
Schaum­burg, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Emi­ly

Dri­ve-Thru Du­ty at the Ban­ga­lore Call Cen­ter Is Lone­ly Work

De­liv­ery la­dy, on phone: Okay, what can I get for you?
Cus­tomer on the oth­er end: I’d like a medi­um pep­per­oni piz­za with no sauce and a cher­ry coke.
La­dy, typ­ing on a com­put­er: Okay, a medi­um piz­za with no sauce, just plain cheese, is that cor­rect?
Cus­tomer: No. With pep­per­oni. And a cher­ry coke.
La­dy: Pep­per­oni… [types again] I’m just push­ing all the wrong but­tons tonight.
Cus­tomer: Yeah, I know what you mean.
La­dy: It’s one of those days where you just should­n’t have wok­en up, you know?
Cus­tomer: Uh… yeah.
La­dy: At least it’s al­most over though, right?
Cus­tomer: …right.…
La­dy: So you said you want­ed a medi­um pep­per­oni piz­za, with no sauce, a side of ranch, and a cher­ry coke?
Cus­tomer: No side of ranch.
La­dy: Awww, but ranch is good for you!
Cus­tomer: …no ranch, thank you.
La­dy: Fine, good­night. [hangs up phone]

Hanover, New Hamp­shire

Over­heard by: Will