But I Can’t Get Enough Of That Pow­der-Fresh Scent

Male of­fice pe­on: Why is­n’t my de­odor­ant hold­ing me? It’s wear­ing off al­ready.
Fe­male of­fice pe­on: What?
Male of­fice pe­on: I guess I should stop us­ing De­gree for Women!

Tul­sa, Ok­la­homa

I Think We Still Have Some Cup­cakes Left Over from Er­gonom­ic Key­board Month

Post-doc: Does any­one know when House­hold Haz­ardous Waste Dis­pos­al Day is?
Grad stu­dent: Wooooo! House­hold Haz­ardous Waste Dis­pos­al Day! Let’s cel­e­brate!

Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Lab­Cat

…Can We Pre­tend This Con­ver­sa­tion Nev­er Hap­pened?

Of­fice pe­on: If I moved out to Phoenix I’d prob­a­bly need a mo­tor­cy­cle. Tak­ing ad­van­tage of the weath­er and…women and stuff.

De­catur, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Kel­li

Beau­ty’s Still Await­ing the Kiss That Will Awak­en Her Sleep­ing Mind

Bim­bo named Jen­nifer an­swer­ing of­fice phone: Hel­lo, this is Janet, how can you help me?

Ocala, Flori­da

Over­heard by: LMAO

Leav­ing the Of­fice Is Grounds for Dis­missal

In­tern: What do we do if there’s a fire? Meet some­where outside…or…
Qua­si-su­per­vi­sor: Hide un­der your desk.

Cleve­land, Ohio

A Vast Im­prove­ment on My Usu­al Pea Brain

Ditzy sec­re­tary to ditzy friend: I just ate, so I have to­tal lunch-brain right now.

Gas­town
Van­cou­ver
Cana­dia

So That’s a “No” on the Or­gy?

Pres­i­dent: Let me tell you what, this is about Hank. You know how when you have a bunch of bud­dies over to make clam chow­der, but it nev­er tastes as good as when you make it your­self? That’s what I’m talk­ing about Hank. You’ve got to have just one guy in con­trol of the pa­pri­ka.

Sono­ra Court
Sun­ny­vale, Cal­i­for­nia

Um, That Was Jen­nifer.

VP to as­sis­tant: Re­mem­ber that one day, when we were do­ing it and we were on a con­fer­ence call at the same time? That was a good day.

Fontana, Cal­i­for­nia

Why You Should­n’t En­vy Your Col­leagues With Kids

Fraz­zled cowork­er who brought her kids to work for lunch: If you touch your sis­ter again I’m go­ing to break all of your fin­gers off.
Son: Awwww, but I need all my fin­gers!

Palm Desert, Cal­i­for­nia

Per­haps You’re Not Cut Out for a Ca­reer in the Donut Sci­ences

Store man­ag­er: You don’t want to get this bit­ter and an­gry from hav­ing this ob­ses­sion over count­ing your holes!

Hous­ton, Texas

Over­heard by: it’s true, I don’t