Male office peon: Why isn’t my deodorant holding me? It’s wearing off already.
Female office peon: What?
Male office peon: I guess I should stop using Degree for Women!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Male office peon: Why isn’t my deodorant holding me? It’s wearing off already.
Female office peon: What?
Male office peon: I guess I should stop using Degree for Women!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Post-doc: Does anyone know when Household Hazardous Waste Disposal Day is?
Grad student: Wooooo! Household Hazardous Waste Disposal Day! Let’s celebrate!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Office peon: If I moved out to Phoenix I’d probably need a motorcycle. Taking advantage of the weather and…women and stuff.
Decatur, Illinois
Overheard by: Kelli
Bimbo named Jennifer answering office phone: Hello, this is Janet, how can you help me?
Ocala, Florida
Overheard by: LMAO
Intern: What do we do if there’s a fire? Meet somewhere outside…or…
Quasi-supervisor: Hide under your desk.
Cleveland, Ohio
Ditzy secretary to ditzy friend: I just ate, so I have total lunch-brain right now.
Gastown
Vancouver
Canadia
President: Let me tell you what, this is about Hank. You know how when you have a bunch of buddies over to make clam chowder, but it never tastes as good as when you make it yourself? That’s what I’m talking about Hank. You’ve got to have just one guy in control of the paprika.
Sonora Court
Sunnyvale, California
VP to assistant: Remember that one day, when we were doing it and we were on a conference call at the same time? That was a good day.
Fontana, California
Frazzled coworker who brought her kids to work for lunch: If you touch your sister again I’m going to break all of your fingers off.
Son: Awwww, but I need all my fingers!
Palm Desert, California
Store manager: You don’t want to get this bitter and angry from having this obsession over counting your holes!
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: it’s true, I don’t
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist