Complain to the Potato Chip Company?

Cube dweller: But what if you come across a clumpy lay?

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Chelsea

…Back When It Was a Swedish Colony

Actor #1: I can’t believe that Barack Obama is getting away with running for president! I thought you had to be born in the United States.
Actor #2: He was born in the United States.
Actor #1: Nooooo! He was born in Hawaii!

Equity Audition Center
New York City, New York

Have You Read The Da Vinci Code?

Cubicle dweller: God, I hate when I type like a retard. Hmmm… Wonder what a retard types like.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Forrest Gump

Because I’m Not Sure How to Interpret Your Moaning.

Woman in cubicle: Does it feel good to have the mouse run down there?

Honolulu Credit Union, Hawaii

You Must Be the Best Catholic Ever

Female manager to peon: Sometimes I violate myself.

Nashua, New Hampshire

They’re a Good Source of Protein

Coworker #1: Ouch!
Coworker #2: What happened?
Coworker #1: I’m bleeding – I hit my elbow on my desk and knocked a scab off.
Coworker #2: Ooooh, can I have it?
Everybody: Cheryl*!
Coworker #2: I can’t help it! I just love scabs!

Regional Medical Center
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Yes, she’s real

Ad: A Billion Chinese Can Be So Wrong…

Manager to VP: Yep, that Chinese porn will get you every time!

Greenville, South Carolina

Overheard by: Roman

Maybe I Shouldn’t Have Partied Like It Was 1999

Receptionist: What are those?
Office worker (holding engraved wine glasses): These are wine glasses left over from our Christmas party in 1999, they say “Christmas 1999” on them.
Receptionist: Wow! How old are those?

Pleasanton, California

Overheard by: Mike A

What Are You, American?

Suit #1: …and then there’s the thing about the readiness proposal.
Suit #2: And are they readiness?
Suit #1: Uh, yeah…they’re ready.

Shell Center
London
England

Overheard by: I judge you when you use poor grammar

Where It’s Bound, Who Can Say?

Full timer to temp: We’re in the East because that is where New York is from.

Park Ave
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Mary Beth