Cube dweller: But what if you come across a clumpy lay?
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
Cube dweller: But what if you come across a clumpy lay?
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
Actor #1: I can’t believe that Barack Obama is getting away with running for president! I thought you had to be born in the United States.
Actor #2: He was born in the United States.
Actor #1: Nooooo! He was born in Hawaii!
Equity Audition Center
New York City, New York
Cubicle dweller: God, I hate when I type like a retard. Hmmm… Wonder what a retard types like.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Forrest Gump
Woman in cubicle: Does it feel good to have the mouse run down there?
Honolulu Credit Union, Hawaii
Female manager to peon: Sometimes I violate myself.
Nashua, New Hampshire
Coworker #1: Ouch!
Coworker #2: What happened?
Coworker #1: I’m bleeding – I hit my elbow on my desk and knocked a scab off.
Coworker #2: Ooooh, can I have it?
Everybody: Cheryl*!
Coworker #2: I can’t help it! I just love scabs!
Regional Medical Center
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Yes, she’s real
Manager to VP: Yep, that Chinese porn will get you every time!
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Roman
Receptionist: What are those?
Office worker (holding engraved wine glasses): These are wine glasses left over from our Christmas party in 1999, they say “Christmas 1999” on them.
Receptionist: Wow! How old are those?
Pleasanton, California
Overheard by: Mike A
Suit #1: …and then there’s the thing about the readiness proposal.
Suit #2: And are they readiness?
Suit #1: Uh, yeah…they’re ready.
Shell Center
London
England
Overheard by: I judge you when you use poor grammar
Full timer to temp: We’re in the East because that is where New York is from.
Park Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Mary Beth
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist