Woman: Don, can you hang this on the wall, because you are tall?
Man: I hate being tall… People are always asking me to do things. Maybe next time I drop a coin I will ask a midget to pick it up.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Archive for September, 2008
Marie Curie Heard That a Lot
Female coworker to another: You are so smart! You should have been born a man!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: sixtwentysix
Complain to the Potato Chip Company?
Cube dweller: But what if you come across a clumpy lay?
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
…Back When It Was a Swedish Colony
Actor #1: I can't believe that Barack Obama is getting away with running for president! I thought you had to be born in the United States.
Actor #2: He was born in the United States.
Actor #1: Nooooo! He was born in Hawaii!
Equity Audition Center
New York City, New York
That'll All Change Once the Keypad Urinals Are Installed
Boss (in restroom): This is the only room in the building where I know what I'm doing anymore.
Washington, DC
Have You Read The Da Vinci Code?
Cubicle dweller: God, I hate when I type like a retard. Hmmm… Wonder what a retard types like.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Forrest Gump
Because I'm Not Sure How to Interpret Your Moaning.
Woman in cubicle: Does it feel good to have the mouse run down there?
Honolulu Credit Union, Hawaii
You Must Be the Best Catholic Ever
Female manager to peon: Sometimes I violate myself.
Nashua, New Hampshire
They're a Good Source of Protein
Coworker #1: Ouch!
Coworker #2: What happened?
Coworker #1: I'm bleeding–I hit my elbow on my desk and knocked a scab off.
Coworker #2: Ooooh, can I have it?
Everybody: Cheryl*!
Coworker #2: I can't help it! I just love scabs!
Regional Medical Center
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Yes, she's real
Ad: A Billion Chinese Can Be So Wrong…
Manager to VP: Yep, that Chinese porn will get you every time!
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Roman