Lady suit #1 (serious): But I’ll tell you this, I flew the highest kite. I usually do.
Lady suit #2 (joking): That’s what I’ve heard about you.
Lady suit #1 (serious): Yeah, I feel high all the time.
Parkway Commons Drive
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Archive for August, 2008
Men and Women May Laugh at This for Different Reasons
Wholesale meat salesman to customer on phone: We’ve got 12-inch weiners on special.
Fairbank Road
Ashville, New York
Still Say Weight Watchers Sucks?
WeightWatchers at Work leader: Today our topic is going to be “Eating Out and Not Blowing It.”
Washington, DC
Overheard by: But what if I need the protein?
Should I Take Notes?
Project manager #1: I’m taking a class, but someone stole my notebook.
Project manager #2: Learning sucks… Let me tell you what I’m going to have for dinner.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: Then wouldn’t I be learning?
You Have a Harsh Attitude Towards Women, Bob
Female coworker: What are you going to do with it? Eat it?
Male coworker: Well, for right now it’s a pet…
Cincinnati, Ohio
It Sang ‘Let’s Do the Time Warp’, As I Recall
Urologist: Can we do a time-out, please?
Nurse: Mr. Henderson* is here for a cystoscopy. You’ve seen this patient before.
Urologist: I’ve never heard of him. (uncovers the field) Hmmmm. I don’t remember the patient’s name, but I have seen this penis before.
Hospital, Virginia
Overheard by: CJ Wiretap
And Milk That for All It’s Worth
Woman #1: I’m so excited about the new mother/meditation room. I can totally pretend to be meditating.
Woman #2: I can totally pretend to be lactating!
Evanston, Illinois
Ringo Was Never the Most Clever Beatle
Loud British coworker: Bongs? Is that even a word, “bongs”? “Bongs”? Well I guess it is, like you can “bongs” a drum.
Swiftwater, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: wookie
AMA Rule #1: When Cornered, Deny the Corner Exists
Receptionist: I have Ms Jones* on the phone, she still has pain and wants to know if you will refill her Endocet prescription.
Doctor: No. She can have Vicodin.
Receptionist: She’s allergic to Vicodin.
Doctor: Then she has to go to the hospital.
Receptionist (after speaking on telephone again): She asks if these are her only options: take medication she’s allergic to or go to the hospital?
Doctor: Tell her I’m not here.
Kinnelon, New Jersey
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
And Now It’s Full
Office worker: After my father died I needed something to fill my head, so I thought “Oh! Celebrity doll collecting!”
Beacon Street
Newton, Massachusetts
