Oh, Wait– A Tattoo Of a Five-Year Chip?

Serious receptionist: Just because she has a tattoo doesn't mean she's an alcoholic!

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Are you for real?

Or to Practice Your Marilyn Monroe Poses With

Admin chick: Here's a fan for your office.
PhD Chick: What's this for? To like cool me off?

Baltimore, Maryland

I'm Deaf on My Grandmother's Side

Six-year-old camper #1: I'm half Jewish and half Irish!
Six-year-old camper #2: I'm half Finnish and half Polish!
Six-year-old camper #3: I'm a quarter sign-language!

Look Park
Florence, Massachusetts

And Son of Sam Was a Dr. Seuss Character?

Smart girl: Okay, that guy was nice but really kind of creepy.
Girl: Yeah, but he seemed harmless enough.
Smart girl: Sure, but so did Ted Bundy.
Girl: Oh I love that guy!
Smart girl: Wait… what?
Girl: He's the one on Married with Children, right?

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: glad my gf is the smart one

And My Light Fixtures Are Starting to Sag

Customer service rep on phone: I know exactly what you mean. I haven't gotten a manicure in so long… my cubicles look horrible.

Cypress Creek Road
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: Ava

Is February the One with Only Ten?

Junior art director: Hey, what month is eleven?

Chicago, Illinois

Looks Like Bill's Work, to Me

Graphic designer looking at logo: Looks like a free hand job to me.

England

Overheard by: Johnny Bystander

I'm Very Interested in Getting Drunk and Staying Thin

Woman (looking at new drinks): I don't need more drinks to choose from. I'm not that interested in beverages. I like my Diet Coke, I like my vodka, and that's all I need.

Lakeshore Drive
Birmingham, Alabama

Did You at Least Get My Psychic Vibrations?

Sales rep: Why didn't you answer the IMs I sent you yesterday?
Designer: I was off yesterday.
Sales rep: You mean IMs don't go through if someone isn't online?
(designer stares)
Sales rep: What?

Howell, Michigan

Overheard by: Dunder MIfflin

The Hamburglar's Clean-Up Man

Coworker to office pet turtle: You are such a little turd-burglar!

Neenah, Wisconsin

Overheard by: stinky turtle