Lawyer: It’s not exactly ethical but we have to get this thing out today.
Intern: That isn’t just unethical… Isn’t it illegal?
Lawyer: Only if you think contracts are binding.
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
Archive for April, 2008
That’s What You Said About Cancer Patients
Receptionist on phone: Some people say they have OCD. They don’t have OCD. They’re nuts!
Office
Lyndhurst, New Jersey
…Outside the Context of Our Basement.
Female cube worker #1: Have you ever heard of that black and blue ball thing? You know I would never go to that.
Female cube worker #2: Oh yeah?
Female cube worker #1: Yeah. My uncle and brother go to that. And my uncle only wears chaps.
Supervisor walking by: Are you guys working?
Male cube worker: Anyways, why don’t you go?
Female cube worker #1: Well, frankly I just wouldn’t want to see them in that state.
Taylor Avenue
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Canadia
And She Was Totally Ungrateful About Last Year’s Weight Watchers Subscription
Thoughtful receptionist: What are you getting your wife for Valentine’s Day?
Sales shark: Nothing. She’s already my wife.
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
A Tom Jones Song Is Never Called for in the Office
Female employee: [Burps loudly.]Male employee: Ooh, sexy! [Singing.] She’s a lady! Whoa whoa whoa!
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
I’m Going to Call You Back Using a Fake British Accent
Engineer on phone: Hi, this is Jim from [Company A]. Oh, wait, that’s you. Shit.
Paterson, New Jersey
Elvis Costello: Genius!
Hardhat #1: Don’t worry. You will do something wrong that will make her mad, sooner or later.
Hardhat #2: Impossible. I don’t do wrong shit everyday!
Construction site
Austell, Georgia
Thus Following the Golden Rule.
Office drone: Ahhhh crap! I peed on the floor. If I knew I was going to pee on the floor today, I’d never have come to work.
From within a Stall in the Men’s Restroom, Office Building
Rochester, Minnesota
Let Us Pour Libations and Examine the Entrails of a Goat
Clueless VP, whispering right after lightbulb has exploded: What does it mean?
Park Avenue
New York City, New York
Probably for Historical Reasons
Assistant: They’ve already designed the corn maze for a Lewis & Clark theme.
Account executive: Why did they choose Superman?
Assistant: [Stumped silence.]
Thomas Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Pants