Director of operations: The faster you run it, the faster it goes.
Kibler Street
New Washington, Ohio
Overheard by: What?!?
Archive for March, 2008
She Laughed All the Way to the Free Clinic
Barmaid: I know, but it’s funnier as an STD.
Seattle, Washington
Cashier: You Just Seemed Nice.
Cashier: And may I have your phone number, please?
Lady: What the hell for? You gonna call me up when you’re havin’ a sale?
Older lady: Hush, Lavinia. This here place is always on sale.
Lady: My point exactly.
Paramus, New Jersey
Well-Mounted!
Employee to another: Oh, is that the girl you put the rack on for?
Bike shop
Wantagh, New York
Overheard by: eviltwin
I Dunno — You’ve Been Pitching That All Week
Girl at lunch table: I’m not musty — it’s her sandwich.
630 Broad Street
Gadsden, Alabama
And by “Doing Things Right” I Mean We’re Slouching Toward Mediocrity
Manager: I don’t know how you do things at your branch, but around here, we cut corners.
Sales associate: So basically you’re saying that you are only doing things right because I am here?
Manager: Exactly. Enjoy your visit.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Hand me the Scissors…
Hypocritical Talk for a Girl Named Alley
Male peon: I hope you locked the door. If you didn’t, some hobo is gonna use my car as his bathroom.
Lady peon: You’re a hobo’s bathroom!
1255 Hempstead Turnpike
Uniondale, New York
Overheard by: glad i keep my doors locked
With a Light Pen
Coworker: I’m going to go draw lasers.
111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
That Would Be Hot
Woman peon on phone: Pretend you’re Islamic! Why can’t we wear burqas when we’re feeling ugly?!
1166 6th Avenue
New York, New York
After You Get What You Want, You Won’t Want It
Suit: Why does she have to be a devil? Why can’t she be a demon?
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
