Archive for 2007

And Leap Weeks

Bim­bette: Twen­ty days — that’s, like, five weeks, right?
Pa­tient pe­on: No.
Bim­bette: I mean, busi­ness days.
Pa­tient pe­on: … No.

Mer­cer Street
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: chok­ing on gig­gles

Your Grand­ma Al­ways Was a Char­ac­ter

Po­lice­woman: Right. So then I had to search her, and I found a crack pipe shoved some­where that a crack pipe should nev­er be shoved. So I en­tered it in the log, and then I threw it in­to the garbage. Then she said, ‘No, you can’t throw it out. That’s my best one! I’ll nev­er get an­oth­er one like it!‘
Moth­er: Oh my god, hon­ey, how nasty! I don’t like you work­ing in sit­u­a­tions like this.
Po­lice­woman: Well, but my point is this: of course she’ll get it back. Soon as I re­lease her, she’ll just go dig­ging in the trash and find it, and shove it right back where I found it.

Bel­mont Av­enue and Sheri­dan Road
Chica­go, Illi­nois

Why Pro­fes­sors Drink.

Pro­fes­sor: So, what did you think of the read­ing?
Stu­dent: Well, when I read the first part, I was like, ‘Dang!‘
Pro­fes­sor: Um…
Stu­dent: And when I read the last part, I was like, ‘Dang! I mean, dang!’

Uni­ver­si­ty of North Texas
Den­ton, Texas