Archive for 2007

Why All Ser­vice In­dus­tries Should Have Cus­tomer Ejec­tor But­tons

Creep­ster cus­tomer: You work­ing hard?
Cute cashier: Yes, sir!
Creep­ster cus­tomer: Well, if you fol­low me out back, I could find a few ways to work you hard­er.
Cute cashier: No, thank you, sir.
Creep­ster cus­tomer: Al­right, cutie, don’t say I nev­er tried to give you any­thing [pays and leaves].
Cute cashier, drop­ping the perky act: What a fuck­ing ass­hole! I hope his dick get an in­fec­tion and falls off. [New cus­tomer walks up, and cute cashier re­sumes perky act] How are you do­ing?!

Gro­cery store
Far­mville, North Car­oli­na

Chick­ens in Guy-Suits Are Much More Com­mon in Pol­i­tics

Re­porter #1: How should I iden­ti­fy a chick­en at a press con­fer­ence? There was a guy in a chick­en suit who re­fused to give me his name.
Re­porter #2: If it was a guy in a suit, I think you’d have to call him an ‘Uniden­ti­fied chick­en im­per­son­ator.’

400 East Pratt Street
Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Jack Ace, re­porter-at-large