Archive for 2007

Trans­la­tion: I Would Kill to See You in Shorts

Work­er bee: Are you new here?
Temp: Oh, I’m just temp­ing.
Work­er bee: Do you like it?
Temp: Yeah, I’m re­al­ly en­joy­ing it here.
Work­er bee: It’s so ca­su­al.
Temp: Yeah, I’m glad I can just wear jeans.
Work­er bee: You could wear shorts if you want­ed. I mean, I don’t know if you wear shorts, but peo­ple here do, so you to­tal­ly could. If you want­ed.

6300 Wilshire Boule­vard
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Do You Need an Epipen?

Mar­ket­ing guy: If 20 char­ac­ters is the lim­it for a line, why is it wrap­ping?
Pa­tient web de­vel­op­er: I used a fake string and we changed the font since then — some let­ters are wider than oth­ers, so I have some work to do to get it to fit.
Mar­ket­ing guy: Hm­mm… I like it say­ing ‘Sys­tem Re­quire­ments’ ver­sus just ‘Re­quire­ments.‘
Pa­tient web de­vel­op­er: … How many char­ac­ters is in ‘Sys­tem Re­quire­ments’?
Mar­ket­ing guy: Nine­teen char­ac­ters, in­clud­ing the blank space be­tween the words.
Pa­tient web de­vel­op­er: Right.
Mar­ket­ing guy: So, how much would that jack with things to be able to fit 19 char­ac­ters on a line?
Pa­tient web de­vel­op­er: Dude, c’­mon. If 20 fits, then 19 will fit.
Mar­ket­ing guy: That seems like some ad­vanced math to me.
Pa­tient web de­vel­op­er: Yeah, sor­ry. Did­n’t mean to get all math‑y on you.

2550 SW Grapevine Park­way
Grapevine, Texas

Over­heard by: Snot­ted My Wa­ter

Lis­ten­ing Is the Crit­i­cal Skill in Sales

Cus­tomer: Do you car­ry mat­tress­es? [Sales woman looks con­fused.] Mat­tress­es… Beds… Can you tell me where those are?
Sales woman, point­ing at el­e­va­tors: Oh, yes, right over there.
Cus­tomer, speak­ing slow­ly: No, I said, ‘Where are the mat­tress­es?’ The beds… What floor?
Sales woman: Oh, I don’t think we car­ry those. I thought you said ‘el­e­va­tor.’

De­part­ment store, Para­mus Mall
Ny­ack, New York

Over­heard by: RobynPuff79