Archive for 2007

Like All the Ter­ror­ists Have Agreed to Do

Old­er gen­tle­man at counter: So, if my ap­pli­ca­tion is ap­proved for the re­mote en­try pro­gram, I can en­ter the U.S. af­ter hours?
Cus­toms of­fi­cer: Yes, sir.
Old­er gen­tle­man: But what’s with this bor­der pass­port re­quire­ment?
Cus­toms of­fi­cer, un­com­fort­able: The re­mote en­try pass is for when the port is closed, sir. You will still need a pass­port to en­ter when we are open.

Cus­toms of­fice, North­ern Bor­der

The Base­ment Is Vis­i­bly Firmer

20-some­thing work­er #1: You know, I’ve nev­er had a biki­ni wax. Nev­er.
20-some­thing work­er #2: What? How do you keep your­self… fresh down there?
20-some­thing work­er #1: Neu­tro­ge­na works like a charm.

Para­mus, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Bored in NJ

Tonight’s Movie: Side­ways

Cowork­er #1: When she [preg­nant su­per­vi­sor] saw what we did here, she al­most had her ba­by.
Cowork­er #2: In a bad way?
Cowork­er #3: No­body has a ba­by in a good way!

640 5th Av­enue
New York, New York