Archive for 2007

The Red Menace Never Sleeps

20-ish female associate: Yeah, and you should see her hair! She dyed it red.
20-ish male associate: Really? How red? Like, Netflix-red?
20-ish female associate: No! Worse than that. Like Tandoori chicken-red!
Middle-aged male associate: Wait, wait, wait — what on Earth are you two talking about? What ever happened to fire engine-red and candy apple-red? [Met with silent, blank stares, then waves his hand in disdain] Bah! You kids nowadays are all freaks!

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Similar to Me

Office weirdo: Most people don’t realize that mermaids actually have sharp teeth — similar to a shark. They also eat fish… So they have really bad breath.

Washington, DC

Of Course, the Functional Invisibility Is Good for Robbing Banks

Woman #1: I hate these bloody name tags!
Woman #2: I know! The straps are so long! Everyone keeps peering down at your belly before looking up at your face!
Woman #1: I prefer the name tags you can clip on your lapel…
Woman #2: Yes, at my age I’d actually rather men stared at my tits and not at my stomach.
Old woman exiting stall: Honey, at my age you’re chuffed if they look anywhere at all!

Conference, St. Andrews Place