Archive for 2007

This Is Actually a Great Segue to Your Firing

Manager: At this point we’re only hiring servers who I know will do a really great job.
Waitress #1, with a wink: That’s why I was hired, right? ‘Cause you knew I’d do an awesome job?
Manager: Yes.
Waitress #2: I think I was hired because the regional manager liked me.
Manager: No, you were hired because the restaurant had just opened and we would have hired anybody.

Peppers Ferry Road
Christiansburg, Virginia

You Really Don’t Need a Monster Truck in the City

Office peon #1: I went to see monster trucks.
Office peon #2: I can’t see you watching monster trucks.
Office peon #1: It was so disappointing. You think there’s going to be all this destruction, but it’s really just a lot of smoke and noise. A flaming man did fall from the ceiling, though. That was pretty cool.

90 5th Avenue
New York, New York

The Guilt Trip to Bountiful

Boss: When, in the course of your life, you are traveling to the right you will find that you must take the toll road and pay your dues. There is no free road to the right.
Employee: Uh… Can I have my doughnut now?

Bountiful, Utah

Overheard by: tkt

Army Recruiters Are Born, Not Made

Little kid: Hey, you want to come to my birthday party? It’s all about hunting and killing and stuff.
TA: Um, I’ll think about it.
Little kid: Listen, your mom isn’t your boss anymore.

Sherwood Street
Missoula, Montana

Overheard by: Casey

So How Old Are You, Loser-Boy?

Drone #1: Hey, where were you Saturday night? The ladies were all up on this.
Drone #2: I went to a birthday party.
Drone #1: Hehehehe… What a dumb waste of time. Whose birthday party was it?
Drone #2: Mine.
Drone #1: Oh… Happy birthday.

377 South Oyster Bay Road
Plainview, New York

Overheard by: tonyg