Archive for 2007

Home of the Box Lunch

CSR girl: The Gold Gen­tle­man’s Club… That’s where girls strip, right?
Sleazy man­ag­er: Yeah, they got re­al pret­ty girls there, but they don’t dance long enough! You give them a 20, and they look at you like, ‘What have you done for me late­ly?‘
Qui­et guy: They’ve got re­al­ly good food there on Fri­days.

8900 Kel­so Dri­ve
Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Of­fice Pe­on

Mr. Ness Mon­ster, How Kind of You to Make It To­day

Train­er dur­ing com­put­er train­ing class: Now, every­one use their last name and first ini­tial as their user name and pass­word.
Trainee #1: I did that and it says I don’t ex­ist.
Trainee #2: Me, too.
Trainee #3: Same here.
Train­er: Raise your hand if you don’t ex­ist. [Al­most en­tire class rais­es their hands.]Meek voice from the back: I ex­ist.

1515 Broad­way
New York, New York

Over­heard by: Jas

Show ’em How an Amer­i­can Works Him­self to Death

Amer­i­can client: Aren’t we sup­posed to re­ceive last mon­th’s re­sults soon?
French staffer: Nor­mal­ly, yes, but East­er was on­ly last Sun­day.
Amer­i­can client: So?
French staffer: Well, it means we’re on­ly in the first week of a two-week hol­i­day. So every­thing will be ready in three weeks.
Amer­i­can client: What? Do those fuck­ing so­cial­ist dick­sip­pers re­al­ly have two weeks off for East­er?! You know, when I re­tire I’m go­ing to work in France.

125 West 55th Street
New York, New York

Over­heard by: Jean val Jean

Your Ideas All Have Two Tails and Mis­shapen Heads

Male cowork­er: It’s like the client is the ovum — no… No… Yes, the ovum. And my ideas are the sperm and the boss is the scro­tum and the cre­ative de­part­ment is the shaft and my sperm keep on try­ing to get in the egg — they try and they try — and some of them are strong and good swim­mers and some are, like, dor­mant–
Fe­male cowork­er, in­ter­rupt­ing: –Stop.

Ad agency
New York, New York

Over­heard by: Dr Phyl­lis

No Se­crets on the In­ter­net

Hobo: You can’t make me stay here! Fuck you! I’m leav­ing!
White nurse: Get out, then! Leave!
Hobo, to black nurse: How you doin’, choco­late thun­der?
White nurse, laugh­ing: That’s to­tal­ly your porn name.

27th Street and 1st Av­enue
New York, New York