Archive for 2007

Home of the Box Lunch

CSR girl: The Gold Gentleman’s Club… That’s where girls strip, right?
Sleazy manager: Yeah, they got real pretty girls there, but they don’t dance long enough! You give them a 20, and they look at you like, ‘What have you done for me lately?’
Quiet guy: They’ve got really good food there on Fridays.

8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Office Peon

Mr. Ness Monster, How Kind of You to Make It Today

Trainer during computer training class: Now, everyone use their last name and first initial as their user name and password.
Trainee #1: I did that and it says I don’t exist.
Trainee #2: Me, too.
Trainee #3: Same here.
Trainer: Raise your hand if you don’t exist. [Almost entire class raises their hands.]Meek voice from the back: I exist.

1515 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: Jas

Show ’em How an American Works Himself to Death

American client: Aren’t we supposed to receive last month’s results soon?
French staffer: Normally, yes, but Easter was only last Sunday.
American client: So?
French staffer: Well, it means we’re only in the first week of a two-week holiday. So everything will be ready in three weeks.
American client: What? Do those fucking socialist dicksippers really have two weeks off for Easter?! You know, when I retire I’m going to work in France.

125 West 55th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Jean val Jean

Your Ideas All Have Two Tails and Misshapen Heads

Male coworker: It’s like the client is the ovum — no… No… Yes, the ovum. And my ideas are the sperm and the boss is the scrotum and the creative department is the shaft and my sperm keep on trying to get in the egg — they try and they try — and some of them are strong and good swimmers and some are, like, dormant–
Female coworker, interrupting: –Stop.

Ad agency
New York, New York

Overheard by: Dr Phyllis

No Secrets on the Internet

Hobo: You can’t make me stay here! Fuck you! I’m leaving!
White nurse: Get out, then! Leave!
Hobo, to black nurse: How you doin’, chocolate thunder?
White nurse, laughing: That’s totally your porn name.

27th Street and 1st Avenue
New York, New York