Archive for 2007

A Ca­reer in Bioethics Is Wait­ing for You!

Au­to sales­man: When are you due?
Young woman: Two weeks. I can’t wait for this to be over.
Au­to sales­man: This is just the be­gin­ning! The ba­by is much more work.
Young woman: No, I mean, I can’t wait to not be such a fa­tass. I hate fat peo­ple.
Au­to sales­man: Uh-huh.
Young woman: Can you imag­ine how many peo­ple get abor­tions be­cause they don’t want to be fat?
Au­to sales­man, af­ter long pause: I can hon­est­ly say that no, I can­not imag­ine that.

Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Pure­ly hor­ri­fied

Mas­sive — Why?

Pur­chas­er on phone: No, no, the price is fine. I’m just a lit­tle con­cerned about the thick­ness of the shaft… How ex­act­ly is it lu­bri­cat­ed? … Well, yeah, with that kind of thick­ness you are talk­ing ma­jor lu­bri­ca­tion…

Man­u­fac­tur­ing com­pa­ny of­fices
Toron­to, On­tario

Over­heard by: Salty

Im­por­tant Safe­ty Tip, Ian — Thanks!

Cowork­er #1: So, I got my girl­friend to give me a wax job on the week­end — y’­know — down there.
Cowork­er #2: Oh, yeah? How was that? Nice?
Cowork­er #1: No… She waxed my pierc­ing off through the skin.
Cowork­er #2: Shit!
Cowork­er #1: Yeah…

Gov­ern­ment De­part­ment