Archive for 2007

Like Bob?

For­mer mil­i­tary guy: Yeah, back when I was en­list­ed we used to joke that if we ever won the lot­tery that we would take off all our mil­i­tary owned equip­ment and walk out the front gate of the base in noth­ing but our un­der­wear.
Se­nior ad­min: Oh my gosh! Would­n’t that mean you would be con­sid­ered AOL?

North MacArthur Boule­vard
Ok­la­homa City, Ok­la­homa

Great, Now I Have to Ex­plain to Her What Foot­ball Is

Young man #1: Would you rather take a shit right here in the mall and get ar­rest­ed and laughed at, or have Mike Dit­ka sit on your face?
Young man #2: Dude, I’m on the phone… No, Mom, that was just some guy… Mike Dit­ka is an old foot­ball coach, Mom… No, he’s not here, he’s in Hol­ly­wood or some­thin’.

Cir­cle Cen­tre Mall
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Which Is Al­so Part of the Joke

Mid-lev­el man­ag­er #1: I’ve be­come a run­ning joke.
Mid-lev­el man­ag­er #2: Re­al­ly? I did­n’t know you knew that.
Mid-lev­el man­ag­er #1: [Long pause] I just caught on.

Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Cube dweller

I’m Not Falling for That Again

Male cowork­er wear­ing striped shirt: Hey, nice shirt — we match!
Fe­male cowork­er: Oh, yeah, we do.
Male cowork­er: We could do a dance or some­thing. We al­ready have match­ing cos­tumes.
Fe­male cowork­er: Or we could strip!
Male cowork­er: [Laughs ner­vous­ly and walks away.]

Mass­a­chu­setts

Oh, and You’re Work­ing Sun­day

Boss watch­ing Sin City: Dibs on Jes­si­ca Al­ba.
Em­ploy­ee #1: I’ll fight you for her.
Boss: Okay. [They spar for a sec­ond, then the boss kicks the em­ploy­ee in the shin and slaps him in the head, drop­ping him to the floor.]Employee #1: Ow.
Em­ploy­ee #2: Just not smart, dude.
Em­ploy­ee #1: It hurts so bad.
Boss: Re­spect dibs.

Ft. Wal­ton Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: He can have her