Archive for 2007

Like Bob?

Former military guy: Yeah, back when I was enlisted we used to joke that if we ever won the lottery that we would take off all our military owned equipment and walk out the front gate of the base in nothing but our underwear.
Senior admin: Oh my gosh! Wouldn’t that mean you would be considered AOL?

North MacArthur Boulevard
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Great, Now I Have to Explain to Her What Football Is

Young man #1: Would you rather take a shit right here in the mall and get arrested and laughed at, or have Mike Ditka sit on your face?
Young man #2: Dude, I’m on the phone… No, Mom, that was just some guy… Mike Ditka is an old football coach, Mom… No, he’s not here, he’s in Hollywood or somethin’.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Cut Scenes from Midnight Cowboy

Bus driver: Your bus pass isn’t working.
Passenger: Sorry, man, it should. I just got it yesterday… It’s new.
Bus driver: It’s just not working… Just come on anyway. I love you, man.
Passenger: Thanks, bro. I love you, too.

Downtown bus terminal
New York, New York

Which Is Also Part of the Joke

Mid-level manager #1: I’ve become a running joke.
Mid-level manager #2: Really? I didn’t know you knew that.
Mid-level manager #1: [Long pause] I just caught on.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Cube dweller

Oh, and You’re Working Sunday

Boss watching Sin City: Dibs on Jessica Alba.
Employee #1: I’ll fight you for her.
Boss: Okay. [They spar for a second, then the boss kicks the employee in the shin and slaps him in the head, dropping him to the floor.]Employee #1: Ow.
Employee #2: Just not smart, dude.
Employee #1: It hurts so bad.
Boss: Respect dibs.

Ft. Walton Beach, Florida

Overheard by: He can have her