Archive for 2007

Why Wom­en’s Thoughts Should Re­main Mys­te­ri­ous

Cube dweller #1: So she was talk­ing dirty to me last night and I was all ask­ing her what she was think­ing about.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah? What was it, dude?
Cube dweller #1: She was think­ing about some role play­ing shit, so I told her to tell me de­tails, you know? I want­ed to know ex­act­ly what it was!
Cube dweller #2: Yeah…
Cube dweller #1: So she starts laugh­ing and says, ‘I was ac­tu­al­ly try­ing to de­cide what boots I want­ed to wear.’ I’m like, ‘You’re talk­ing about boots when I have a fuck­ing hard-on? You’ve got to be fuck­ing kid­ding me!‘
Cube dweller #2: Did you do it any­way?
Cube dweller #1: Nat­u­ral­ly…

Sc­i­t­u­ate, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Glad my wife does­n’t wear boots.…

All My Botched-Surgery Cash Goes Straight in­to My Pock­et!

Cube dweller #1: So, you were skin­ny be­fore?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, I had a botched her­nia. They nicked my bow­el — it was like tak­ing a dump on your or­gans.
Cube dweller #1: Man, that sucks. Did­n’t you get a big set­tle­ment for it?
Cube dweller #2: No, be­cause I sur­vived. Be­sides, the old la­dy got most of it in the di­vorce.
Cube dweller #1: Man, I’m nev­er get­ting mar­ried.

Si­mi Val­ley, Cal­i­for­nia