Archive for 2007

Twice Shy

Vet­er­an em­ploy­ee: Looks like all the seats are tak­en for the meet­ing.
New­bie: Well, there are some by me — looks like I am some­what of a pari­ah!
Vet­er­an em­ploy­ee: What? Oh you mean pi­ran­ha — the word is ‘pi­ran­ha.’ It’s a fish from, like, Aus­tralia. Oh, wait, does that mean you’re gonna bite me?

75 Wash­ing­ton Av­enue
New York, New York

Over­heard by: Bri­an Brine­gar

The More I Think about It, the More Will­ing I Be­come

Work­er girl: I have to clean my room when I get home tonight. Cloth­ing is every­where.
Work­er guy: Why? Are you hav­ing some­one come over?
Work­er girl: Not plan­ning on it, but you nev­er know.
Work­er guy: Why the hell do you both­er pick­ing up cloth­ing? Maybe if it were ac­tu­al­ly filthy… But if you’re go­ing to let a guy look at your vagi­na, he should be will­ing to deal with a shirt on your floor.

McLean, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: Well He’s Right

But in a Way That Keeps Me Com­ing Back

Stall #1: … And so last week I told him the next time he wants a booty call, don’t call me!
Stall #2: So, like, did he call you again?
Stall #1: Yeah, and I went over there last night. He’s such a jerk!

Rochester, Michi­gan

Over­heard by: pee qui­et

That Was a Hint, Braini­ac

Cowork­er: Here you go, sir. En­joy the show!
Drunk cus­tomer, af­ter buy­ing Justin Tim­ber­lake tick­ets: Oh, these aren’t for me, but I’ll en­joy the head I’m get­ting for buy­ing these tick­ets.

Tick­et Cen­ter, Wil­low­brook Mall
Wayne, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Glad he did­n’t come to my win­dow

Al­ways Play­ing the Wushu Card

White cowork­er: We should go on the walk­ing trail af­ter work some­time.
Asian cowork­er: Yeah, that sounds like fun!
White cowork­er: I would feel safer with you be­cause no one would at­tack us be­cause they would think you know kung-fu.
Asian cowork­er: [Si­lence.]

Fayet­teville, Arkansas