Archive for 2007

… For the Smothering

Coworker: I wish I could get to the paper first. She always finds the obituaries before I get a chance and cuts them out… Except for the time my grandma died and my mom placed a huge obit out of guilt.

Yamhill Street
Portland, Oregon

The Colonies Needed a Big Hancock

Council member: I heard you need my John Doe on something.
Clerk: I need your signature on some documents.
Council member: Yeah, my John Doe.
Clerk, laughing: You mean your John Hancock — John Doe is an anonymous dead body. [Council member looks puzzled.] John Hancock has the biggest signature on the Declaration of Independence — that’s where the term comes from.
Council member: Oh.

City Hall
San Francisco, California

More of a City-State Than a Country

Office girl #1: But I thought he was, like, Mexican or Brazilian or something.
Office girl #2: No, he’s Filipino.
Office girl #1: Oh, so, like… Um…
Office girl #2: It’s like half-Mexican, half-Chinese.
Office girl #1: But he’s gay, right?
Office girl #2: Definitely — all gay.
Office girl #1: He’s from Gay Land!

Ad agency
Toronto, Ontario

Overheard by: Half-Offended-Half-Laughing