Archive for 2007

Sheer Force of Will

Geri­atric wait­ress: Hi, how y’all doin’?
Col­lege guy: Great. You?
Geri­atric wait­ress: Ehhh, I’m a lit­tle stoned. Got­ta do some­thing to put up with these drunk ass­holes and teenagers.
Col­lege guy: Sweet.
Geri­atric wait­ress: You kids like Michael Jack­son? Heard he was tour­ing again.
Col­lege girl: Oh, yeah! I heard about that. I’m pret­ty stoked.
Geri­atric wait­ress: Me, too! I loved his mu­sic. But geez, how can a gor­geous black man turn in­to an ug­ly and scary-lookin’ white girl?

Pan­cake place, Cher­ry Hill Road
Col­lege Park, Mary­land

Over­heard by: High On Life

Then He’d Play with Them in His Crib

Dis­grun­tled boy: … And they put the birth con­trol ed­u­ca­tion fly­er up on my lock­er! My lock­er! I’m pret­ty sure that vi­o­lates–
Overea­ger Span­ish teacher, pop­ping up from be­hind desk: –Oh! Oh! My moth­er used to put con­doms un­der my broth­er’s pil­low! We all called her the ‘Birth Con­trol Fairy’!

High school
Liv­ingston, Mon­tana

Over­heard by: Fi­nal­ly ap­pre­ci­ates the tooth fairy