Archive for 2007

You’ll Never Be Ready

Coworker: Like, when the guy comes to the campus center with all the animals, I wanna know about that. I don’t wanna go in and see the trained skunk and think, ‘I’m not ready!’

Amherst, Massachusetts

Actually, He Just Likes to Look at Himself in the Reflection

Coworker #1: Yeah, my DVD won’t record my VHS tapes over to disks. I was messing with it all night.
Coworker #2: Well, DVD players sometimes have different formats — maybe you just didn’t get the right format.
Coworker #1: Here are the disks I was using. Are these the right format for my DVD recorder?
Coworker #2: These are CDs. Where did you get these from?
Coworker #1: What?
Coworker #2: You need to get DVD disks, these are for music.
Coworker #1: I just want to put my VHS tapes on DVDs, and it’s not working.
Coworker #2: You bought CDs, you need to go and buy DVDs to do that.
Coworker #1: I’ve been working on this for the past two days.

Chicago, Illinois

Okay, Everybody Charge Things to This Dude!

Cashier: … And do you have your Hudson’s Bay credit card with you today?
Gangster #1: My what?
Cashier: HBC credit card. It’s gold.
Gangster #1: Oh, yeah, man. I think so. Uhhh… Is this it?
Cashier: No, that’s your MasterCard. I’m looking for the HBC card, if you have it.
Gangster #1: Oh, yeah, man, HBC! They always be sendin’ me bills in the mail and shit, you know, and I don’t even know why!
Gangster #2: Dude, that’s HSBC. That’s the bank.
Gangster #1: Oh.
Gangster #2: You don’t even know the difference, do you?
Gangster #1: Not really. So, like, one has an S and one doesn’t have an S, right? Is that it?
Gangster #2: No, it’s completely different.
Gangster #1: Well, so what, man? I still gotta pay the bills whether it has an S or whether it don’t have an S, right?

Zellers Lansdowne Mall
Richmond, British Columbia

Dude, Turn off the iPod

Coworker on speakerphone with messenger center: Last name is Baratta.
Messenger center: Spell it.
Coworker: B-A-R-A-T-T-A.
Messenger center, repeating: P-V-R-G-G-A?
Coworker: … What does that even spell?!

1 Park Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Davey