Archive for 2007

And I Don’t Want to Be Dis­tract­ed by the Hyp­not­ic Move­ment of Your Fat

Fat male boss: So, how are you feel­ing these days?
Slim, sev­en-months-preg­nant ad­min as­sis­tant: Pret­ty good, but my back is start­ing to hurt a lit­tle from the 17 pounds I’ve gained.
Fat male boss: You know, you’re go­ing to want to watch that. That weight is­n’t easy to take off once you’ve put it on.

Zee­land, Michi­gan

Over­heard by: So glad I no longer work for him

If You Wan­na Be Ig­no­rant All Your Life.

Phone sup­port girl: You see where it says ‘Ti­tle’ at the top? Just fill that in.
Client on oth­er line: What do you mean ‘ti­tle’?
Phone sup­port girl: You know… Like pres­i­dent, ac­counts re­ceiv­able or payable… What­ev­er your ti­tle in your of­fice is.
Client on oth­er line: Can’t I just put biotch?
Phone sup­port girl: … I guess if you want­ed to…

Chica­go, Illi­nois

I Had to Bite My Tongue Bloody, Though

Cowork­er #1: She keeps send­ing me e‑mails from home, want­i­ng me to do all this shit that can to­tal­ly wait un­til she gets back in the of­fice… She’s sup­posed to be on va­ca­tion, for Christ’s sake!
Cowork­er #2: So just tell her to back off!
Cowork­er #1: Nah… I e‑mailed her and told her she should be us­ing this time to re­lax and recharge, and that we would tack­le this stuff once she’s back in the of­fice and re­freshed from va­ca­tion.
Cowork­er #2: Wow… That’s the most elo­quent ‘Fuck you’ I’ve ever heard!

Car­ruthers Park­way
Franklin, Ten­nessee

Over­heard by: quite im­pressed

Could Be Worse. Could Be Foot Skin.

Male work­er #1, point­ing at desk: What is that?
Male work­er #2: I don’t know.
Male work­er #1: It looks like a booger, and it’s not mine!
Male work­er #2: How do you know it’s not yours? It’s on your desk!
Male work­er #1: Be­cause I eat mine.
Male work­er #2: Oh, God…

1574 South West Tem­ple
Salt Lake City, Utah

Over­heard by: Shaun