Overheard In The Office

Archive for December, 2007

And I Don’t Want to Be Distracted by the Hypnotic Movement of Your Fat

Fat male boss: So, how are you feeling these days?
Slim, seven-months-pregnant admin assistant: Pretty good, but my back is starting to hurt a little from the 17 pounds I’ve gained.
Fat male boss: You know, you’re going to want to watch that. That weight isn’t easy to take off once you’ve put it on.

Zeeland, Michigan

Overheard by: So glad I no longer work for him

If You Wanna Be Ignorant All Your Life.

Phone support girl: You see where it says ‘Title’ at the top? Just fill that in.
Client on other line: What do you mean ‘title’?
Phone support girl: You know… Like president, accounts receivable or payable… Whatever your title in your office is.
Client on other line: Can’t I just put biotch?
Phone support girl: … I guess if you wanted to…

Chicago, Illinois

I Had to Bite My Tongue Bloody, Though

Coworker #1: She keeps sending me e‑mails from home, wanting me to do all this shit that can totally wait until she gets back in the office… She’s supposed to be on vacation, for Christ’s sake!
Coworker #2: So just tell her to back off!
Coworker #1: Nah… I e‑mailed her and told her she should be using this time to relax and recharge, and that we would tackle this stuff once she’s back in the office and refreshed from vacation.
Coworker #2: Wow… That’s the most eloquent ‘Fuck you’ I’ve ever heard!

Carruthers Parkway
Franklin, Tennessee

Overheard by: quite impressed

Could Be Worse. Could Be Foot Skin.

Male worker #1, pointing at desk: What is that?
Male worker #2: I don’t know.
Male worker #1: It looks like a booger, and it’s not mine!
Male worker #2: How do you know it’s not yours? It’s on your desk!
Male worker #1: Because I eat mine.
Male worker #2: Oh, God…

1574 South West Temple
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Shaun