Manager, during meeting: … And we just don’t want any Joe Schmoe helping people on the phone… No offense, Joe.
Joe, phone answerer: Mmm.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Celebratious
Archive for December, 2007
Out of What?
Junior art director: I have 44 minutes to make a baby.
303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: wha?
Relax — Clearly Not about You
Coworker #1, writing a vacuum product description: Does ‘extra long’ have a hyphen in it?
Coworker #2: Dude, are you writing spam?
58th Street and 1st Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
When the Boss Is Happy, We Can All Relax
Boss, quietly singing: I’m a chubby little monkey, monkey, monkey — I’m a chubby little monkey…
Harris Street
Pyrmont
Australia
Overheard by: i am too!
I Keep Voting Them into Office
Cube dweller on phone: I have this thing with gaping voids…
1700 Research Boulevard
Rockville, Maryland
Sacrilicious!
Tech, watching movie trailer online: Man, that’s delicious. It’s like drinking Jesus’s sperm.
Hyde Park
Austin, Texas
As Long As It Doesn’t Cut into Our Coke-Snorting Time
Suit #1: So, where are we going?
Suit #2: Does it matter? We’re going there.
Suit #1: I don’t care about the food, I just want to know I can get a drink.
Suit #2: It’s a lunch place, but yeah, it has a bar.
Suit #1: Good.
Suit #2: Is that all you’re going to do for the next two weeks? Drink during lunch?
Suit #1: Mmm-hmmm.
Suit #2: Oh… I guess that’s okay.
485 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Her Kids Get Beaten Up Every School Day
Fashion exec on phone: Did you smell your shorts yet?
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Overheard by: I smelled them too
Jeez, They’re Not Lawnmowers, Okay?
Coworker: Maybe when my first cat dies from misuse…
209 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California
I Had a Very Progressive High School Biology Teacher
Cube monkey #1: It’s not like there are a lot of straight people at this office to sleep with.
Cube monkey #2: You could sleep with the IT guy — Harold*.
Cube monkey #1: Ew, he’s a whore. I don’t want to get crotch rot.
Cube monkey #2: What on earth is crotch rot? I’ve never heard of that.
Cube monkey #3: Not only have I heard of it, I have smelled it!
731 Pilot Road
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Anna