Archive for August, 2007

Did You Get the Package I Sent?

Girl answering phone: Hi.
Guy on speaker: Hey… What are you doing?
Girl: Nothing.
Guy: Don’t e‑mail me today.
Girl: Why?
Guy: They are using my computer for a presentation.
Girl: Oh, okay.
Guy: I don’t need them seeing ‘Eff you!‘
Girl: Haha, I never put that in the subject line.
Guy: Right… Or ‘I eff-ing hate you… And I’m not joking.‘
Girl: Hahaha, I haven’t said that in so long!
Guy: You texted that to me last night.
Girl: Oh. Hahaha. No, I said, ‘You better be dead… And I’m not even joking!’

Law office, Highway 10 and 403

It’s Only Partially about the Kids

Hockey dad: If this snow keeps up, there won’t be any hot-tubbing with the hockey MILFs tonight.
Bachelor: Hockey MILFs?
Hockey dad: You better believe it.

Highways 24 and 401
Cambridge, Ontario

Overheard by: My kid’s on the wrong hockey team

So, No Mayan Pyramids?

Manager: Yes, next week we’ll all be in Mexico.
Woman #1: I hope you are going to relax this vacation.
Manager: I feel if I don’t run around and see everything, I’m wasting the experience.
Woman #2: Let me explain something clearly to you: vacation is sex, food, sleep, more sex, more sex.
Manager: [Stunned.]Woman #2: That’s why you never come back relaxed. Sex, sex, nap, sex. Repeat that.

Garden State Mall
Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: Woman #3