Employee, about jury duty: I figure if they’re in court, they’re guilty of something, or why would they be there?
323 East Grand River Avenue
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Dunder Mifflin
Archive for May, 2007
Nobody Said a Word about Functionality
Quality manager: Well, why doesn’t it work?
Software manager: Because we didn’t write it that way.
Redmond, Washington
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Icebox
Employee: So, there was nothing in the fridge? Just the dog?
650 Park Avenue
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Dani
Massive — Why?
Purchaser on phone: No, no, the price is fine. I’m just a little concerned about the thickness of the shaft… How exactly is it lubricated? … Well, yeah, with that kind of thickness you are talking major lubrication…
Manufacturing company offices
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Salty
Or One Person, for Seven and a Half Hours
Client: I just want to touch a hundred and fifty people a day for three minutes.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: 1 or 2 at a time?
Important Safety Tip, Ian — Thanks!
Coworker #1: So, I got my girlfriend to give me a wax job on the weekend — y’know — down there.
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah? How was that? Nice?
Coworker #1: No… She waxed my piercing off through the skin.
Coworker #2: Shit!
Coworker #1: Yeah…
Government Department
London
England
Exactly How I Get People to Work Weekends
Senior manager: Hi, honey, how was your day?
Kid on speakerphone: If you were here, you’d know.
42nd Street and Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Been Carrying It Since Last Tango in Paris
Guy: Man, having cigarettes without a lighter is like having peanuts without the jelly!
Lady: Don’t you mean butter?
Guy: Oh, no. I got the butter.
1450 East Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: smoking some distance away
Syntax Error
Boss: Your code no longer doesn’t not fail.
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Eric
He’s the Go-To Guy for Reproduction Problems
Receptionist on door intercom: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay [hangs up]. Bob*, a guy from RICO is here to service you.
Hangar Place
Allentown, Pennsylvania
