Archive for April, 2007

Either Provide It, or They Go on American Idol

Woman on phone with son: Jason*! Jason! I can’t talk to you now. I’m in a meeting… I know I’m always in a meeting… I can’t try not to schedule meetings when you get out of school. Yes, you can talk to me for three hours when I get home… I can’t listen to what happened to you today, Jason! Don’t call me back, do you hear me, Jason?! [Hangs up phone. It rings again.] Oh my god, why do kids need attention?!

Rochelle Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: Cubicle Right Outside

Then Put This Blotter Paper in Your Mouth

Big mama running after child: Get over here!
Child: Nuh-uh [runs away].
Big mama, clenching teeth: I said get over here!
Child, terrified: No!
Big mama: Do you want to see the magical lions and rabbits outside?
Child: Oh! Yes!

Katy Mills Shopping Center
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Omid

So I Figure They Can Watch Him

Hospital employee #1: Hey, girl! You going to the club tonight?
Hoochie hospital employee: Yep!
Hospital employee #2: And how are those kids doing?
Hoochie hospital employee: My son has pneumonia, but everyone else is alright.

1600 Harrison Street
Oakland, California

Overheard by: Jefferson Smoyle